20 Goals for 2019

I know the year is already half over, but here are my goals for 2019 (this was not finished earlier as my goals kept changing). 

Social Goals

1. Be observant (of other humans)

Stop thinking about myself and observe what others are feeling.

2. Overlook rudeness, and reframe as much as possible.

I learned this from an interview with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I've noticed that I tend to misinterpret situations more than 50% of the time. I need to remind myself that, more often than not, people don’t mean to hurt me.  As a clueless engineer working among possibly even more clueless engineers, I should realize I'm bumping up against low EQ (emotional intelligence) rather than malicious intent.

3. Control my anger

Or channel the anger in a skilled way. Try centering myself in the midst of an anger inducing situation, and channeling the anger into making a “boundary” and focussing it in my responses.

4. Get rejected at least once a week 

Rejection is my biggest fear! Hopefully exposing myself to more of it will help me be less fearful of it.

5. Be vulnerable

As I've grown older, I've become more and more private, saving my innermost thoughts only for those close to me. In order to make connections, I need to be more vulnerable, but not in a socially unacceptable way that prematurely forces intimacy, or when the person doesn’t deserve it.

6. Don't be a bully

I get really impatient with people I perceive to be stupid. Or to be absolutely correct, I get really impatient with people who are deluded about their ignorance or lack of skills (see my post about how to handle people like this). I should not discriminate against people on the basis of their ignorance or incompetence, just like I shouldn't discriminate on the basis of gender or sex. I'm only being slightly facetious, here. Stupid is not something one chooses to be.

Physical Goals

7. Take a gym class 3X/week (or spend 60 minutes at the gym).

8. Walk a minimum of 7000 steps on the days that I don’t take a gym class, or do cardio in the gym for 30 minutes instead. 

9. Strengthen my back and core muscles with yoga, pilates, weights and barre.

10. Self-care: Take more steam baths and take better care of my skin.

11. Eat more vegetables and fruit.

12. Minimize the times I eat until I am past full.

Career Goals

13. Try something new at work. Ask my boss if I can represent the company at a conference. Interface with the customer more.
14. Read (or listen to) management, social skills, and communication books to improve my career.
15. Be more curious about the people I work with. Ask them about their day or something personal.
16. Continue to take big design risks. It seems like every time I do something bold, like contributing a design without being asked, it pays off (such as receiving a patent).
17. Dig deeper. Scrape below the surface with my analysis and with my line of questioning.

Fun Goals

18. Have more IRL fun. Don’t be a hermit all the time. Even though I live a rich internal life through books, movies and video games, sometimes I need to remind myself that real life is more piquant. If consuming video games is like candy, hanging out with my friends/family is like a healthy, nourishing meal.
19. Frame more pictures and paintings. Since being denied an office in my new work building, I’ve been obsessed with decorating my cubicle so that I don’t feel so deprived. I’ve decorated my cube with accessories from Ikea and West Elm, and there are now several plants enjoying my primo real estate under the skylight (so bright, I almost need to wear sunscreen every day). Now, I don’t wish for any of the offices (they look like jail cells), and I feel like I’m at the spa every time I work at my desk. I’ve even gotten several compliments on how nice my cube looks, although I think the natural lighting does most of the heavy lifting.
20. Organize a trip with family and/or friends: Thanksgiving in Hawaii? Christmas in Europe? Roadtrip to Disneyland?

2018 Year in Review

2018 was year 2 of the “Resistance”. Although the country’s reputation has fallen in regard globally, and although much of the rest of the country will probably suffer due to the current president’s policies, we in California have largely been unaffected. I have done my part fighting for political causes that I believe in and fighting the current administration. I have donated to the ACLU this past year, as well as Planned Parenthood, and the Democratic Redistricting Committee (the group that works to reverse gerrymandering in Republicans' favor). Following the Kavanaugh hearings, I also gave money to several Democratic senators whose performances during the hearings I admired, as well as donating money to whichever candidate will eventually run against Maine Senator Susan Collins. During the midterms, I gave money to several promising candidates, including Stacy Abrams, who ran for governor in Georgia, but unfortunately lost. Whether she lost fairly or not, is unclear. The candidate she ran against was also the official overseeing the election - which is a huge conflict of interest. And also there were patently obvious attempts to restrict the vote in that state. (By the way, I am veering off from my former stance to stay away from politics  because I think we are at an exceptionally bad moment in history, that I think that I stand on the right side of history, and for me not to have a firm, public stance would be cowardly and unprincipled.)

Work-wise, it was a bit tough this year, but extremely rewarding in terms of the things that I was able to accomplish. On the negative side, I broke down a couple of times. The first time, I got responsibility taken away from me. That didn’t offend me. I think my manager decided to unload me because I truly was overwhelmed, and he and I realized I didn’t do well in customer-facing roles. At any rate, I was OK with having responsibilities off-loaded from me, because that allowed me to focus on one of the most challenging work assignments I’ve ever had. That assignment was unique in having tight size constraints, but huge strength requirements. I literally lost blood, sweat and tears designing this thing. Every time I tested a new round of prototypes, my nerves were wracked. If my test results were poor, it could ruin my day and leave me in a death spiral of ruminative thinking. But in retrospect, the fear that I felt was not due to a loss of faith in my own ability (I knew that I would eventually succeed), but because I feared I would take longer than expected and lose my managers’ faith in me. The fact that I eventually succeeded makes this a definite feel-good story to refer back to the next time I feel fear of failure, which is inevitable in this line if work. 

A couple of other standout moments in a largely uneventful year: (1) we vacationed in French Polynesia, where we did some scuba diving in Rangiroa, and had a great experience, even though we didn’t stay in an overwater bungalow. I will have some vacation video to post shortly.

(2) I also bought a Tesla Model 3, and counter to what I thought would happen, I actually love the car. Having only driven it a short time, I think I love the car even more than I loved my Mini Cooper convertible. I even named the car, “Toothless” after the dragon in "How to Train Your Dragon". if you compare the two, you can definitely see the resemblance. Also, they are both very cute, yet powerful.

Black Tesla Model 3

Toothless the Dragon

I hope that things will be as good and as uneventful in the year to come as 2018 was. Of course, me being me, I have a lengthy list of things I want to achieve and work on. It’s too lengthy to detail here, but generally, I want to work on not sweating the small stuff, particularly when it comes to my coworkers, even when they are trying my last nerve. And also, I want to work on being more vulnerable, but only around people who’ve earned my trust.

How to Have a Luxury Experience Without an Overwater Bungalow in French Polynesia

One of the things I feel regret about is not staying in an overwater bungalow on our recent trip to French Polynesia. Places like Bora Bora are synonymous with overwater bungalows. It seems a little foolish in retrospect not to cross off this bucket item list after traveling to these islands at such great expense. 

Rather than spending money on luxurious digs, however, we spent it all on scuba diving in Rangiroa (part of French Polynesia). And I don't regret this decision because as it turns out, Rangiroa has some of the best scuba diving we've ever experienced. (I'll be writing more about the scuba diving in Rangiroa soon.) If I had spent the money for an overwater bungalow, I would have never ventured out. And I believe we got a more authentic poignant experience by going out more. And, as I constantly reminded my husband during our trip - we will someday come back again, and maybe we will do things a bit differently. 

Looking on with envy at the Sofitel overwater bungalows in Moorea 

In the meantime, I learned a few things about acquiring a luxury experience without actually having to stay in an overwater bungalow. Read on and enjoy:

Stay at an Inexpensive Beachside Hotel

Our bungalow in Moorea, Fare Tokoau, was chicly decorated, was right on the beach, and we could even see the lagoon from our bed. The best part, however, were the cats, dogs, lizards and chickens that visited us on our patio on a daily basis. The disadvantage was noise. We were wakened by roosters nightly, and the sound of the ocean waves was so loud, it sounded like a storm was constantly raging. These are things we probably would not have suffered at an expensive overwater bungalow.

Grab a Coffee at the Fancy Hotel 

Tourism is down in French Polynesia, so we were able to enter any luxury hotel without questioning. Sometimes we ordered breakfast, or a simple coffee at the hotel's beach bar, and we were able to enjoy the same vantage point as the overwater bungalow. 

Take a Swim in the Lagoon

Just because you aren't staying at an overwater bungalow doesn't mean you can't enjoy the same waters. The water is so calm in Bora Bora, that if you are a strong swimmer, you can share the same waters bordering the hotel.

Get the Same Views by Taking a Lagoon Tour

The main advantage of the more expensive overwater bungalows such as the Bora Bora Pearl, or the Intercontinental Thalasso, is that they are situated on private islands and overlook the lagoon towards the central mountain of Bora Bora. However, you can enjoy the same views by taking a lagoon tour. These tours take you around the central mountain of Bora Bora and so you can see all the same vantage points that the more expensive hotels have. We enjoyed this view during a Lagoon tour in Bora Born

Eat Dinner at an Overwater Restaurant

Creperie Toatea at the Hilton Moorea serves savory Alsatian crepes. It is located above lagoon waters that are spectacularly lit from beneath. As we ate, we saw black tip reef sharks, and even a stingray swim by beneath us.



Happy diners at Creperie Toatea

Eat at Bloody Mary's

Bloody Mary's is the original Tiki Bar. This famous establishment in Bora Bora is positively dripping with glamor. You can feel the history emanating from every corner, from the varnished tree stump stools down to the white sandy bottom floor. Celebrities used to come, and still come to party at this famous restaurant. Pictured above is the selection of the day. You choose what you want to eat, and then the chef grills it for you a la carte.

Shop for Pearls

I admit to contracting “pearl fever” when we set foot inside Tahiti Pearl Market, a second story no-frills institution in Paeete. You may have heard of Tahitian pearls, or black pearls as they are better known. These giant pearls, which are most commonly gray, are only cultivated in French Polynesia. My Chinese heritage came out in full force when we started to roll pearls around on satin covered trays. The way a pearl is graded is pretty well defined: the larger, the rounder, and the more blemish-free a pearl is, the higher the cost. But what isn’t graded is that ineffable life of a pearl, that thing that gives you shivers of excitement and what makes you go “ooh” and “ahhh”. These pearls were so lustrous they looked as reflective as a mirror, and were so colorful, ranging from pink to yellow to green, they wouldn't even register as pearls to the uneducated eye. Selecting and purchasing a pearl was really fun. I highly recommend the experience.

Take Time to Savor the Small Things

After traveling at great expense, sometimes the simplest things are the most memorable. Here’s a meal reflective of French Polynesia that you won't get in an overwater bungalow: everything is imported from France or Asia: cheese, sausage, and Malaysian shrimp chips. The only native thing is the fresh mango. And constantly constraining friendly kitty, Madeline, from consuming the entire meal will certainly be a memory that I will savor.

Afterward: My husband was so supportive of our housing decisions. While walking around the Bora Bora, we ran into some dilapidated overwater bungalows (Sofitel Marara, which is currently under repair), and we even encountered the abandoned Club Med. At the Sofitel, there was no beach to speak of, the bungalow itself was mere feet away from the mainland, and the water below was full of algae. My husband turned to me and asked: aren’t you glad we didn’t book one of these? We would have been so upset. I feel good that we spent less, had lowered expectations, and were pleasantly surprised. I tend to get very unhappy when I feel I spent too much one things. My experience in Rangiroa, where we spent the most on lodging, was an example of feeling ripped off, and I actually wrote a harsh review about it TripAdvisor. I'm glad that such heartbreak didn't happen to us with an overwater bungalow.

What to Bring, What Not to Bring, & What to Buy in French Polynesia

Stuff You Should Bring

1. Mosquito Spray. Bring or buy one can of mosquito spray for each person, for every week spent in French Polynesia. 
2. Swim goggles and swim cap. The lagoons are like swimming pools. Just jump in and go.

   

   The water is so calm, swimming in Bora Bora is like swimming in a pool. Definitely bring goggles if you want to see the fish while doing your "laps". Here I am at the Hotel Temanuata beach after swimming over to the overwater bungalows next door.

3. Snorkeling equipment. The snorkeling is some of the best I’ve ever seen.

   

   I saw some of the healthiest coral I've ever seen while snorkeling, so definitely bring snorkeling equipment

4. Gloves. If you are scuba diving in Rangiroa, the current is so fast, that it is sometimes recommended to climb across the coral bottom instead of kicking and wasting air. Because I wasn’t wearing gloves, my hands got torn by the sharp coral. I will be writing up a review of the diving in Rangiroa at a later date.
5. A beach towel. The medium-range hotels don’t offer beach towels. 
6. Your own pedicure (or nail polish). There were no manicurists in the smaller islands like Moorea and Rangiroa as far as I could tell. And it's always fun to sport a festive toenail color when you’re wearing flip flops all the time.
7. Your own instant coffee. There are no coffee shops in French Polynesia because coffee hasn’t caught on yet. All rooms come with an electric tea kettle. One of the favorite things we did in all of French Polynesia was to enjoy a cup of instant coffee on our patio.

   

   My husband and I enjoyed a cup of instant coffee every morning. Here we are on our patio in Moorea with one of Moorea's major agricultural products: pineapple.

8. Sunscreen. To be quite honest, I didn’t really use any. The sun isn’t that strong in French Polynesia and the native Tahitians themselves are really light-skinned as a result. But you may want to bring some if you are fair skinned.
9. Bathing suits. Mark and I basically shared a single suitcase for 2 weeks. We just wore bathing suits all the time.
10. One or two good dresses, or tops. Dinner is often communal at these mid-range pensions. It would be good to doff the bathing suit you’ve been wearing all day and put on something that makes you less crazy looking.
11. Books. Almost none of the hotels have TV’s, and the ones that do, only feature French shows. And free WiFi is not guaranteed. I ended reading 3.5 books while on my 2 week vacation.
12. A phone that is a good camera so you can show pictures you took to your your new friends at dinner. If your cell phone doesn’t have a good camera, your camera needs to have the ability to download directly to your cell phone or iPad.
13. Space in your luggage. We made the serious error of not leaving any room in our luggage and ran into weight problems at the airport. We bought famous Tahitian rum, and an assortment of fresh fruit jams, and “manoi” coconut oil as gifts for friends. 

Don’t Bring

1. High heels. Some restaurants, notably Bloody Mary’s, have sandy bottom floors. It would be difficult to walk in heels in this environment.

I designed and made this Pareo at the Intercontinental in Moorea

Buy

1. Pareu. This is a sarong-like piece of cloth that Tahitians traditionally used to wear. Buy one (every other store sells them), or even make one in French Polynesia.
2. Jewelry. Every other store is a jewelry store selling Tahiti's 3rd greatest export: Tahitian pearls. You can get a better selection, and for cheaper nowhere else in the world.
   

   

   You can shop for beautiful Tahitian Pearl jewelry to suit all budgets in French Polynesia

French Polynesia Slide Show Presentation

Here’s the slide show presentation that I made for planning our French Polynesia trip (we just recently got back). One of my coworkers’ husband made one for their South West USA trip, and I thought it was so remarkable that I had to copy it. 

I did 100% of the planning for the trip, so it was a good tool to help my husband understand what to expect on our vacation. It was probably good that I did, because once the vacation started, he barely knew what Island we were on. (He literally thought we were on Bora Bora when we were actually on Moorea.) It also helped to convey to my husband what my expectations were, i.e. what I was really looking forward to trying. That being said, we didn't micro-manage the trip to every last detail - we were quite flexible in how we spent our vacation. There were a lot of empty time periods left in the schedule to improvise. We didn’t actually stick to the highlighted plan 100% either, and actually stuck to it maybe 30-40%. Actual details of what we did are forthcoming.

I hope you enjoy the slides, and hopefully this can be helpful to others planning their French Polynesia trip.

Deep Blue Divers Review, Grand Cayman

Deep Blue Divers Boat viewed
from below at Northwest Point,
Grand Cayman

I've been trying to do a summary write up of our Cayman Islands trip. It will take a while, since I have a mountain of photos and video to go through. But in the meantime, here's a review that I wrote on TripAdvisor reviewing Deep Blue Divers, the dive operation we used while in Grand Cayman:

If you like affordable small group diving, valet diving, and if you enjoy a sense of community, than you will love "Deep Blue Divers" operated out of the "Lobster Pot Dive Center" in Georgetown on Grand Cayman. We dove with divemasters Nyall (pronounced Neal) and Alice for 4 days. There were never more than 6 people on any of our dives, and there were usually around only 4 people on the boat at a time.(We never saw any other dive boats or divers when in the water, which, despite the number of tourists in Grand Cayman, especially when the cruise ships are in town, was a treat.) 

Porcupine Fish, Northwest Point, Grand Cayman

The staff of Deep Blue Divers are mostly English and Scottish with an Australian and odd American thrown in. Both Nyall and Alice were great. In addition to picking us up at our hotel every morning, they were meticulously attentive to our comfort, down to adjusting our weights based upon their observations of us underwater. Both Nyall and Alice absolutely spoiled us by helping us don and doff our gear, making it truly "valet diving". Alice even helped hook us up with a Stingray City tour when our hotel tour fell through. It was quite a treat to receive such great service delivered with such a nice English and Scottish accents. Alice even called Mark and myself, "Love", "Lovey", and sometimes "Darling", which was music to my American ears.

Green Moray Eel-Lonestar Ledges, Grand Cayman

Deep Blue Divers also makes you feel like part of their family. My husband bought a new dive computer and accidentally left it in their rinse tank. Deep Blue Divers kept the dive computer and gave it back to us the following day. Additionally, my husband and I accidentally collected someone else's brand new mask and only discovered it when we were well on our way to Little Cayman. Coordinating with Nick, the owner, however, we managed to courier the mask from Little Cayman back to the island. I was impressed with the amount of time and logistics Nick spent to get a single mask back to its owner.

In summary, Deep Blue Divers was quite affordable (they offer multi-day discounts), and the service was top notch. Their boat dock is a quick drive from the main drag of Seven Mile Beach. The only drawbacks that I can think of is that their diving is mainly limited to the West Wall, which I hear is not as good as the diving on the North Wall. Also, you might not like their strict time limits. On air, the deeper profiles justifies the time limits - 0:40 for the first dive, 0:50 for the second dive. However, if you're breathing Nitrox, you might feel a little short changed by the shorter dive times.

Truk Lagoon Dive Trip 2015

Here is a little video of our dive trip to Truk Lagoon this past year. This is Part II.

Part I (Palau) can be found here.

Truk (Chuuk) Dive Log

September 15th / GoPro Sept 14th

Shinkoku Maru

        Dive #230: 117’ / 0:35

Kenshu Maru

        Dive #231: 88’ / 0:39 

September 16th / GoPro Sept 15th

Nippo Maru=Done

        Dive #232: 107’ / 1:01

        

Sankisan Maru-Done

        Dive #233: 93’ / 0:44 

         

Betty Bomber-Done

        Dive #234: 43’ / 0:29

Emily Seaplane-Done

        Dive #235: 65’ / 0:36

September 17th / GoPro Sept. 16th

Yamagiri Maru - Done

        Dive #236

Freedive on Zero

Gosei Maru

        Dive #237

September 18th / GoPro Sept. 17th

Fujikawa Maru

        Dive #238

Heian Maru

        Dive #239

September 19th / GoPro Sept. 18th

Rio de Janeiro

        Dive #240

Palau Liveaboard Dive Trip 2015

Here's a little video that we made of our dream vacation in Palau in 2015. This is Part I.
Part II (Truk Lagoon) will be posted shortly.

September 7th, 2015 / GoPro Sept. 6th: 

Helmet Wreck: My light was killed on this check out dive

Dive #211: 93’ / 0:40 

The Iro: Spent safety stop on the mast

Dive #212: 94’ / 0:54

Coral Garden to Ulong Channel: Rod said, this would be an amazing dive anywhere else in the world but just meh here. 

Dive #213: 91’ / 1:01

Sandy Paradise: the dive I thought I would end up being a casualty

Dive #214: 82’ / 0:42

September 8th, 2015 / GoPro Sept. 7th

Siae’s Corner: Almost missed this epic, this is what Palau is all about

        Dive #215: 94’ / 0:53 

Ulong Channel: Epic wall and lettuce coral, and giant clams

        Dive #216: 63’ / 0:57

German Wall: the worst dive of the week - too silty, no action. Felt sorry for Jim.

        Dive #216: 70’ / 0:56

Big Drop Off - Ball and Chain on wall dive

        Dive #217: 91’ / 0:57

        

September 9th, 2015 / GoPro Sept. 8th

Barnum’s Wall: Wall with tunnel on corner with Conor going through, took shots of divers and skiff approaching Tropic Dancer

        Dive #218: 89’ / 0:52

Turtle Cove: My Favorite dive - pretty coral, schools of fish everywhere you look

        Dive #219: 98’ / 0:56

German Channel: Ascending safety stop with safety sausage with Les

        Dive #220: 73’ / 0:53

German Channel Garden: Night dive with octopus

        Dive #221: 74’ / 0:47

        

September 10th, 2015 / GoPro Sept. 9th

Blue Corner: Epic dive with surgeon fish nibbling on mark’s snorkel, Napoleon Wrasse and schools of Bigeyes and Striped Large Eye Breams

        Dive #222: 85’ / 1:01

        

New Drop Off: Bubbles flying horizontal, fear, divemasters buddy breathing.

        Dive #223: 93’ / 0:52

        

Peliliu Land Tour

Ngemelis’ Wall: Sergeant major’s laying eggs, other fish eating them. Sleeping shark. Poor vis.

        Dive #224: 91’ / 0:51

       

September 11th, 2015 / GoPro Sept. 10th

Big Drop Off - Crocodile fish

        Dive #225: 100’ / 0:59

Barnum’s Wall - Eel and large nudibranch

        Dive #226: 83’ / 1:02

Fern’s Wall

        Dive #227: 95’ / 0:53

German Channel

        Dive #228: 93’ / 1:01 

September 12th / GoPro Sept. 11th

Jelly Fish Lake

Chandelier Cave

        Dive #229: 30?’ / 0:20