Mina's Bachelorette Party

Brave Women

From left: Joann, Coco, Sweta, me, Valerie and Cherie

Of the handful of bachelorette parties I have ever attended, I think mine was one of the most fun. Despite being part of Labor Day weekend, 9 courageous women joined me to celebrate my last days as a bachelorette.

The evening started at Town's End Restaurant in San Francisco, where us women were treated to a 3 course meal. I had a salad, the Ling Cod (I always wanted to taste this fish I keep encountering underwater), and a peach tart. By the way, Ling Cod is pretty flavorless and a bit tough. Jean blinded us with her new engagement ring and regaled us with the story of her engagement. PC is a lucky guy!

Coco, who is the most innocent of the entire bunch, shocked us by buying me a tiara studded with tiny pink phallusses, which I quickly donned (see below). She also assembled coin cell batteries into a tiny silicone rubber encased doodad. Wasn't sure what it was, until the device began vibrating upon activation. Below, I am attaching this vibrator to my dress.

Sophisticated Women on the Town

From the restaurant, we climbed into a stretch limo that would take us to the next venue. We poured champagne into waiting champagne glasses and I thoroughly enjoyed the glamor of being in a stretch limo, although I usually scoff at such things. The moon roof was open so we took the opportunity to stick our heads out and whoop at pedestrians, until the driver told us to get down. Below, Joann and Mina are getting a whiff of the refreshing night air.

Sticking our heads above the stretch limo

Upon entering Asia SF, a club famous for drag queen performances, we were escorted into a room tightly curtained off from the rest of the club. Those courageous enough to last this long were subjected to "special entertainment", as Valerie, warned us we would. Coco ran off into the night before the entertainment would commence, but brave Sweta stayed behind and impressed me with her daring.

There was a small wooden chair in the center of the room where I was told to sit. I started to freak out at the humiliating prospect of being given a lap dance while on display. The girls gleefully stuck $60 dollars worth of dollar bills everywhere on my body for the male stripper to find with his teeth. I was completely frightened, and felt not a little dread as the male stripper entered the room. I didn't have to pretend to act consistent with contemporary American female behavior when I shrieked into my hands.

Myself and the stripper guy, Joann and Sweta cracking up in the background

I was subjected to various humiliations, such as stuffing dollar bills into his g-string, rubbing oil into his butt cheeks and other forms of grossness. All the other girls were shrieking with laughter and running around taking flash pictures. I observed that his skin was very soft, like a girl's, and entirely hairless.

I think I rather enjoyed watching the other women in the seat of humiliation. Everyone was pretty funny. Valerie announced, "I'm scared" before taking her turn. I have never observed her scared before. I think she was pretty grossed out when the stripper stuck his face into her chest.

Cherie looked like she was taking everything in good humor. She looked like she was thoroughly enjoying herself, and was laughing the entire time. A little crease above her nose belied a faint disgust.

Sweta sat staunchly. She looked like she was treating the experience like a scientific experiment. Later on in the car, she innocently declared apropos nothing, "And then I touched his oily bum," to which we all cracked up in laughter.

Joann, of course, took full advantage of the stripper. She slow danced with him, and looked like she enjoyed being slaved over.

Ching and Jean were extremely difficult to pin down. Jean, who is forceful in the workplace, had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the chair. Even then, she wouldn't remove her arms from covering her face. Ching successfully hid by blending into her seat. Fortunately for her, she escaped before the stripper, who acted like he was on a strict time-table, took off for the next group of bachelorettes.

After the stripper fiasco, we danced the night away. Tired, with sore feet, we ended the night with a banana split and fries at an all night diner. We vowed to do it all again soon.

All of this has reminded me how much I value in my friends the ability to have fun. I also value bravery as one of my most valued characteristics in a person. These girls, who attended my bachelorette party, have demonstrated these two characteristics in spades.

Great Pinnacle - Blue Fish Cove

Great Pinnacle, Point Lobos

(Notice nearby Marcos' Pinnacle named after the diver who was attacked by a Great White Shark 10 years ago)

Today was Chuck's annual "Diving Singles Point Lobos Dive", an event which we've attended for the past 3 years.

This dive day was remarkable in that our dive buddies were Chuck Tribolet, himself, along with his partner, Linda.

Everyone in the dive community knows Chuck for his erudition, as well as his strong opinions on diving. He and Linda both have 1000+ dives under their belt. So I felt a little self-conscious diving with him and Linda due to my relative lack of experience. Paul and Gary rounded up our group.

This was also our first time diving the Great Pinnacle in Blue Fish Cove, too. Blue Fish Cove is one of the best dive areas in Monterey County, but is almost impossible to access without a boat. Furthermore, boats are forbidden from accessing it, unless armed with a reservation with the Point Lobos State Park. Therefore, diving Blue Fish Cove is a rarity. We once tried to swim to Blue Fish Cove, but ended up doing some white water diving between the wash rocks. This event had left me traumatized enough to stop diving for 9 months.

Despite the good luck of diving with Chuck, and diving the Great Pinnacle, what proceeded was one of the more miserable dives I've had in a long time. Immediately upon descent, Mark's weight pouch fell out of his BCD. While the both of us hung out in midwater at 90 feet (the bottom was at 150), without any bottom in sight, I pushed his integrated weight pouch back together.

I recognized my first Olive Rockfish (Yay Fish Count!)

What's more, I had absolutely no control over my buoyancy. My depth ranged from 40 feet to 70 feet throughout the dive. Thank goodness Chuck and Linda didn't notice, they were too busy shooting pictures of nudibranchs and fish at their favorite dive site. Later on, I found out that my BCD had a significant volume of air in it, and that this had exacerbated my buoyancy control issues. (When diving with a drysuit, you are only supposed to use your drysuit when controlling your buoyancy. The excess air in my BCD caused wild fluctuations with depth changes, due to the air's compression and expansion. This is what makes cold water diving soooo interesting and so challenging.)

Regardless of the problems at the onset of this dive, I recognized the site as being one of the most gorgeous I had ever seen. There was 40-50 ft visibility, which is common for this area. The place reminded me of Cozumel's Devil's Throat in topography, except scarier. This underwater mountain range was covered with garish colors, and the harsh steepness of the pinnacles struck me as cruel-looking. In summary, this place gave me the heebie-jeebies, and I struggled between wanting to maximize my dive time, with my instinct to "RETURN TO THE BOAT".

After I finished my safety stop, I popped my head out to find we were far far away from the boat, as I had feared. I signaled "up" to Mark, but he indicated that he was still finishing his safety stop. My fear went on override, and I honked like crazy at him and gave him more "up" signs. I soon lost sight of Mark, and I feared he had drowned, such was my state of mind.

On the surface, I shed a few tears, which I haven't done after diving since my divemaster candidacy. Both Mark and I were both miserable over our lack of dive planning and lack of communication. It took a lot for me to convince him to do a second dive but I am glad that we did. By the second dive, I had worked out my gear issues, and I was a much better buddy to Mark. Mark still has to work out his drysuit problems and weighting problems, however.

Dive #163: Great Pinnacle, Blue Fish Cove, Point Lobos State Reserve
Max Depth: 91 feet
Time: 0:40 hour
Buddies: Mark, Chuck Tribolet, Linda R., Paul Quinn, Gary Gold
Temperature: 47 deg F Oceanic -- 53 deg F
Visibility: 50 feet
Weight worn: 22 lbs (10 in BCD, 12 on weight belt)

Observations:

• Victor the resident "alpha" sheephead
• male kelp greenling
• Schools of blue rockfish
• Olive rockfish - first that I recognized as one, anyway

Recognized my first Vermilion Rockfish (Yay Fish Count!)

Dive #164: Middle Reef, Whaler's Cove, Point Lobos State Reserve

Max Depth: 30+ feet
Time: 0:40 hour
Buddy: Mark
Temperature: ??
Visibility: 15+ feet
Weight worn: 22 lbs (10 in BCD, 14 on weight belt)

Observations:

• Vermilion rockfish
• Huge Lingcod

Wedding Band Rant

Tungsten Carbide Wedding Band

Our goals for our wedding bands was to have them fabricated out of really cool engineering materials, the more exotic the better, and preferably custom machined. After searching for a few hours at the mall, I got Mark this incredibly cool tungsten-carbide ring with a brushed metal center stripe, similar to the one pictured above. I, however, was not so lucky. There are no interesting metal choices available for women. Apparently, women are not interested in functional metal alloys, but are more attracted to shiny things. The only options available to me were gold, or platinum, hopefully with diamonds inlaid.

First, a discussion of why tungsten-carbide is so cool. It is really, really hard (75-80 Rockwell C) and is therefore, for all intensive purposes, unscratchable. It's strength and hardness make it ideal for use as end-mills for machining other metals.

Tungsten Carbide End Mills

It was really important for me to have something other than gold or platinum as a wedding ring. I have an extreme metal sensitivity. My platinum engagement ring has been giving me blisters. Even my watch's stainless steel band has been giving me a rash. I also want a ring made from a functional metal alloy, because it states something about who I am: a somewhat iconoclastic person, and also a female with a desire for function and technical detail.

Finally, after visiting jewelry store after store, I began to realize there was a bias against providing women functional metal choices. Jewelers don't think women are interested in having tungsten carbide, or titanium rings. Jewelers think women are interested in buying the rarest metals possible. That all we care about is what prestige we will earn amongst our friends. At the Bailey Banks and Biddles jewelry store, the saleswoman literally sneered when I asked her if she had titanium rings. She said, "We don't carry that stuff, only gold and platinum."

I got this titanium alloy wedding band

When I came home, however, I searched online and found myself an aircraft grade titanium alloy wedding band sized for women's fingers. The exact model of what I bought can be seen above. The cost? $65. The mechanical properties for the aircraft grade Titanium 6Al 4V alloy comprising this ring can be seen in the table below. It's hardness and strength properties make it very similar to half hard 302 stainless steel. In the real world, I believe this makes it comparable to 18-8 or 18-10 stainless steel cutlery (I heard that 18-8,18-10 is an antiquated term for 300 series stainless steel). However, the titanium is far lighter than steel, which makes it a very desirable property to have for making aircraft components, or for manufacturing bicycles.

This Litespeed bike frame is made entirely of titanium

Still, I think I would have preferred to custom machine my own wedding band. My immediate choice would have been to machine it out of annealed 420 SS and then harden it to 55 Rockwell C. This particular brand of stainless steel is so hard, it is used to make surgical scalpels and other surgical tools. As you can see from the table above, it is not quite as hard as tungsten carbide, but edges over the tungsten-carbide in terms of ultimate tensile strength. It would have made a nice complement to Mark's ring. But I am not complaining. My titanium ring is a whole lot more hypoallergenic.

Katee & Joshua -- Two of My Favorite "So You Think You Can Dance" Performers

It's coming down to the final four performers on the Dance Competition, "So You Think You Can Dance", which airs nightly on FOX TV on Wednesdays. Two of the four finalists are two of my favorite dancers on the show, Katee and Joshua. I've included a couple of my favorite routines from these two for you to enjoy.

Below, Katee and Joshua perform a hip-hop routine together. Katee, who is Asian, performs superbly in this hip-hop routine. She is a contemporary dancer by training, but almost steals the show from Joshua, who is in fact a hip-hop dancer at heart. Together, Katee and Joshua perform a heart-felt dance about one who has been called to duty in Iraq, and the girl who must watch him leave. I could watch this video clip over and over again.

Don't forget to hit the volume button on each of the videos.

In the below number, Katee and Joshua perform a Bollywood number. Katee, as usual is technically superb, and captures the style of the dance to a "t".

Joshua and Katee dance the Pasodoble in the final number below. I think that Joshua fills the stage with his incredible strength and presence. His steps, and his line are precise beyond parallel. And it's even more incredible coming from a dancer with relatively little formal training, as he has, or with such a bulky physique.

I hope you all will watch the final four perform this coming week.

Playing with (or was it harrassed by?) a Seal

Mark and I have had harbor seal encounters before on our dives in Monterey, CA. But this past Saturday, was the first time we could characterize our encounter as being "harrassed" by a seal.

Our dives were at McAbee Beach, just off Cannery Row in Monterey. McAbee beach is famous for its playful seals. It is so famous for its seals that after our dives were completed, even our friendly parking lot attendant at McAbee asked us whether we had played with the seals.

Our seal first swam in front of us to get our attention. I wanted to engage the seal, and had read about seals imitating humans after doing barrel rolls. So I attempted to do a barrel roll in the water to entertain the seal. The seal reacted by becoming shy for an instant, and meandered behind a rock to hide. We of course knew where it was hiding and snuck up upon it. Upon being found, it looked up at us slyly before surfacing for air. After this little game of hide and seek, the seal no longer felt any shyness and released an onslaught of harrassment our way.

This juvenile seal not only nipped at our fins, but muzzled our bodies. It came right up to our masks, with its eyes just inches away from ours, much like in the picture above. The seal kept exploring our masks with its claws and nuzzling our hoods with its nose. The seal was particularly interested in clawing at Mark's tank, whereupon Mark would turn around in dismay, and I would chuckle into my regulator. To keep its interest at one point, I offered it my dive slate (mmm, yummy). It quickly went straight for my pencil and nuzzled it a bit. When I reached and rubbed its belly, the seal wasn't fazed. Through my neoprene gloves, its belly felt more jiggly and soft than I had anticipated. At one point, the seal and I were getting so friendly, that we were holding hands as though we were dancing. The video below from another diver at McAbee pretty much characterizes the type of experience we had.



After 15 minutes of this, we had to head to shore, otherwise I would have liked to experiment with playing fetch with the seal, maybe with a piece of kelp. My friend, Dr. Bill from Catalina, said he once conducted an entire dive playing fetch with a seal.

Even without our seal visit, our dives were awesome, characterized by good visibility, and a couple of other unusual marine life sightings (rare orange adult wolf eel sighting, and my first Dirona albolineata nudibranch).


Dive #1 (cumulative dive #161): McAbee Beach
Max Depth: 38 feet
Time: 0:53 hour
Buddy: Mark
Temperature: ?? didn't look
Visibility: 40+ feet past the first kelp bed
Weight worn: 24 lbs (10 in BCD, 14 on weight belt)
Mark's weight: 24 lbs

Observations:

• Mark spotted an adult, orange wolf eel. According to Humann's fish ID book, this coloration is rare.
• Mark spotted a Dirona Albolineata nudibranch (see right). They are as luminescent and glowing in real life as they are in the photos.
• Conducted an official REEF fish count on my own for the first time, and it was a lot of fun.
  

Dive #2 (cumulative dive #162): McAbee Beach

Max Depth: 33 feet
Time: 0:42 hour
Buddy: Mark
Temperature: ??
Visibility: 25+ feet
Weight worn: 24 lbs (10 in BCD, 14 on weight belt)

After our dives, Mark and I had lunch at the Trailside Cafe overlooking McAbee Beach, where we gorged ourselves on clam chowder and fish and chips. I then insisted that we visit the Monterey "World Famous" Wax Museum for the first time. This Wax Museum had scenes from Monterey's past history, and even featured scenes from John Steinbeck's novels. At the Wax Museum, I learned that Monterey had changed hands from the Native Americans, to the Spaniards, to the Mexicans before becoming American land. I also learned that McAbee Beach, the site of our dives, used to be squatted upon by numerous Chinese immigrants back during Cannery Row's hey day.

Mindfulness Meditation, Part III

For readers unfamiliar with this blog, this entry is a continuation in a 3 part series on a meditation seminar that I attended 3 months ago before starting a new job. See this entry and this entry for part I and part II respectively.

(All pictures were taken from my trip down the California Coast during which I attended my Meditation retreat.)

My Mindfulness Meditation seminar began first by entering a large round “yurt” that overlooked the blue Pacific Ocean and that was sheltered by Cypress Trees. About 20 other strangers and I took off our shoes before entering the shag carpeted round room, which was empty except for large pillows lining the perimeter of the room.

This Mindfulness Meditation seminar was being taught by James Baraz, whom I knew nothing about other than that others held him in great respect. “You are in very good hands,” one of my dinner companions told me the night before, “James Baraz is one of the cofounders of Spirit Rock.” This meant nothing to me, of course. (Later, I learned that Spirit Rock is a famous Vipassana Meditation center in Marin County.)



Sitting in the yurt, I wondered which person would actually be teaching. On my right, there was an old man with crazy long white-hair who was lying down on his back. He looked crazy enough to be a meditation guru, I thought. My eyes rested on him, waiting for him to begin speaking. All of a sudden, a soft voice spoke from the opposite side of the room, introducing the class. The man who spoke looked like a librarian. He wore a dark plaid button down shirt, a conservative gray wool vest, and khakis. Gentleness emanated from his person in both his demeanor and his voice. His conservative wear made him more credible to me.



Every day, for 3 days we would attend three 2 hour lectures, with a 20 - 30 minute meditation session during each session. I am by no means knowledgeable of Vipassana meditation, but Baraz walked us through the mechanics.


To begin with, one focusses on the breath, how it feels in the nose, and in the chest. This part is not different from other branches of meditation. But where Mindfulness Meditation differs subtly from other meditation practices can be found in the following:

• When feeling an emotion, negative or positive, feel the emotion deeply, immerse oneself in it, and you will eventually feel the emotion dissipate.
• When thinking a thought, don't chastise yourself. Acknowledge the thought and understand that it is normal to think, and then bring yourself back to focussing on the breath. Only the truly enlightened, say Buddha himself, could meditate without thinking.
• Vipassana meditation is also known as Insight meditation. Baraz claims that this form of meditation leads to greater wisdom, and self-understanding. Other forms of meditation, such as Transcendental Meditation, which focusses on breathing or chanting, leads to higher focus, but not necessarily greater wisdom. For a better explanation on how Vipassana Meditation can lead to greater wisdom, please read this "Art of Living" article.
• View yourself as being one living organism among a much wider network of living things. In my case, I envision a camera in the corner of the room looking down upon me.

In addition to practicing seated meditation (in which I almost fell asleep on one occasion), we also sampled eating meditation, a walking meditation, self-love meditation and a "loving-kindness" meditation. For our eating meditation, Baraz handed out 2 raisins per person. We were supposed to eat each raisin over the course of a minute. This exercise was supposed to teach us to focus only on the moment, instead of chewing and swallowing without actually experiencing it.

For our walking meditation, Baraz led us out of the yurt down to the grassy lawn below. Walking barefoot, heel to toe, I focussed purely on my sensory input at that very moment. This exercise, too was designed to teach us how to be in the moment.

The self-love meditation was useful to me. I am a person who oftentimes doesn't like herself very much. This meditation was helpful to be more forgiving to myself. We were asked to meditate on someone who loves us. We were asked to think about why they loved us. And whether or not we could find it in ourselves to feel the same way about ourselves as they did.

The "loving-kindness" meditation was a moving experience. We were asked to think of someone we don't know well, such as a neighbor whom we never speak to. We were then asked to send them a prayer of altruistic love. Then, we thought of someone we disliked, and we then sent them a prayer of altruistic love as well. Finally, we were asked to summon someone whom we love, and sent them a prayer. At the end of this meditation, one of the girls in the room was crying. She had just lost her father and had come to the retreat to help deal with her grief. I knew who she must have dedicated her loving-kindness prayer to.

In addition to how to meditate, Baraz talked about some Buddhist teachings and how they might apply to our lives, regardless of our religious leanings. What made sense to me was:

• Daydreaming might feel pleasant, but it takes us away from being in the now. It is a feeling that contracts us (our soul?).
• Avoid feelings of self-aggrandization, such as, "I am so smart", or "this company would fall without me." This too is a contracting thought. I think of it as the opposide side of self-loathing thoughts which are also harmful.
• There is nothing that makes us feel happier than being altruistic to others, and to spread goodness and loving-kindness to others. The world could be a better place if all of us could emanate our good feelings (karma?) to the world.

Summary

Would I recommend James Baraz's Mindfulness Meditation retreat to others? Absolutely. It may have changed my outlook on life. I am still neurotic, as many people near me know. But I believe I am handling the problems in life with greater composure, some due to my learnings gained at this retreat.

For more information on the next Mindfulness Meditation seminar at Esalen, please click here.

Spaghetti con Tonno e Pomodoro

Ingredients:

5-6 cloves of garlic, chopped finely
2 handfuls of black kalamata olives, seeded and chopped in quarters
5-6 fillets of salted anchovies from a can, chopped finely
2 tablespoons of capers
1 handful of roughly chopped fresh arugula (1/4" square)
1 large can tuna fish stored in water or oil (12 oz)
1 large can of San Marzano tomatos (28 oz)
1/2 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (preferably Sagra brand)
1 package of Barilla "thick spaghetti" or other pasta
1-2 tablespoons of coarse sea salt
2 tablespoons of regular Morton’s salt
1-2 tablespoons of red chili flakes

Instructions:

1. In a large skillet over medium-low heat, fry the garlic until golden but not brown (4-5 minutes). Add the chopped anchovies midway through and stir together.
2. Push the anchovy garlic mixture to the side of the pan where the temperature is lower. Put the quartered olives on the other side. Put the tuna at the center of the pan. Raise the temperature to medium-high. Cook until slightly brown (4 minutes). Add 1-2 tablespoons of coarse sea salt and 1 tablespoon of red chili flakes and mix together.
3. In parallel cook the thick spaghetti with generously salted pasta water (2 tablespoons of Morton’s salt). Cook until al dente.\
4. Add the chopped can of San Marzano tomatoes with juice to the sauce and simmer for 4-5 minutes. Take the sauce off the heat and add the chopped arugula and capers.
5. Transfer the cooked pasta directly into the sauce. It is okay if pasta water drips into the sauce. Place back on medium-low heat. Mix all the ingredients together including the arugula and capers until heated through.
6. Plate the pasta on large rimmed bowls or plates. Finish the pasta with 1 tablespoon of high quality fresh olive oil.

Story and Insights behind this recipe
After living with former professional cook professionally for many years, and after watching many cooking shows starring such Italian chefs as Lidia Bastianich and Michael Chiarello, I have incorporated some learnings that differentiate decent pasta from mediocre pasta. Here are some of these insights as well as some of my subjective opinions.

1. It is important to cook garlic over low to medium heat. It is worth the extra 4 minutes to do so.
2. Anchovies add flavor to tomato pastas. You can’t even taste the anchovies in the finished product, but the anchovies make the dish richer and more striking.
3. Adding arugula was an accident. I was trying to clean the refrigerator of excess ingredients. But the arugula marries so well with the tuna, that I would recommend this combination over adding parsley or basil (as recommended in other recipes).
4. Generously salt the pasta water and the pasta will taste as though it absorbed the pasta sauce better.
5. Add pasta water to the pasta sauce. It is better that the sauce taste soupy than too dry.