Simple ways to become instantly happier

Once again, deadlines loom on the home front, and at work.  Once again, I have a million and one things to blog about rather than tackling these more important tasks:  One of the things on my mind these days are things that make me happy.  There
things that give me lasting happiness, and there are things that are like a quick shot in the arm.

Here are some of the things that are like a quick shot in the arm:
(1) A fresh coat of lipstick.  This is spoken from someone, who until very recently, hadn't worn a smidgen of makeup in her life.  But in my 30s I have discovered the joy of smearing on a coat of lipstick or lip gloss or two.
(2) Appreciate a friend out loud when you genuinely mean it. There is nothing that makes me more happy than paying a compliment or showing genuine thanks.  But be aware: paying a cheap compliment that you don't mean can have the opposite effect.
(3) Being out in the sun, on a really nice day. Like today, at this very moment, writing this blog in the dappled shade of an outdoor cafe.
(4) Wear a cute outfit and rock it all day.
(5) Laughing really loudly. It's so euphoric.
(6) Do not underestimate the power of skin moisturizer to keep you feeling soft and pampered all day.  This is from someone who has alligator skin, and for whom putting on moisturizer is like an epiphany.
(7) Relaxed and pleasant conversation over a meal. I hardly ever turn down an opportunity to go out for lunch  to have a nice discussion, even with stressful work looming.
(8) Eating food when hungry. Not to be underestimated.
(9) Drinking coffee. Caffeine makes me feel smarter, and more engaged in life.


And here are some deeper ways to be happier for longer periods of time:

(1) Bearing yourself gracefully and taking the high road in difficult situations.
(2) In the same sense as the previous, forgiving a friend with whom you've had a tiff. Often times, when you can't stand someone, you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and there is something that bothers you about yourself. If you can recognize that, and forgive yourself and the other person, it's like a huge load has lifted off my shoulders.  This has happened to me several times. Life is too short to bear a grudge or to hate people for a long period of time. Turn it around as quickly as possible, and you will be incredibly proud of yourself.
(3) Loving people deeply. You don't need to be family. You don't even need to know the people very well, or have had them in your lives for a long time.  But recognize that you can instantly love people and care for them.
(4) Take a class on happiness. Sometimes it's not enough to bumble around on one's own, figuring out what works and what doesn't work in this game of life.  Sometimes, it is necessary to take a class. For example I'm still reaping the benefits of what I learned in my Mindfulness Meditation retreat that I took at the Esalen institute a few years ago.  I'm still grokking how it feels to practice equanimity, and what it means to cultivate "loving-kindness" (metta bhavana). You can read more about my mindfulness retreat here.
(5) Risk and constantly face your fears. One of the main things I learned with my life coach was the concept of "being comfortable with being uncomfortable". The key is to to risk feeling uncomfortable many days of the week, and to risk so much, that you feel like you could die, once a week. I am following this, and this has been extremely rewarding to my life. I never thought I was a coward, but it is good to be reminded of when one is in a rut. 

Mussel and Corn Chowder

I went on a seafood foraging outing along the coastline with some friends, and came back with too many mussels to eat in one sitting. We had a dinner party to help consume all the shell fish we found, but were only able to eat through half of our live mussels.  With the impending threat of mussels gradually dying and causing a huge stink on my patio, I forced myself to cook the leftover mussels today. 

So, today, I made a chowder out of the leftover live mussels and the result was pretty good, if I say so myself. I found the recipe on the web, but added my own flourishes, such as the corn and chives. This recipe is versatile; you could substitute the mussels with some other type of seafood to make all manner of chowders.

Ingredients

5 lbs of mussels, or enough to yield one bowl of chopped mussel meat

1 bottle of white wine (Sauvignon Blanc or similar)

6-8 cloves of garlic, minced finely

1/3 cup of tarragon, thyme or parsley

Corn kernels removed from 3 ears of white corn

3-4 cups of mussel stock

Olive oil

1 large onion, chopped coarsely

2 large Idaho potatoes, peeled and sliced into 1" squares

4-8 celery stalks, sliced into 1/4" slices

4-7 bacon strips, sliced into 1/4" slices

2-3 cups of milk (from skim to cream, whatever your preference)

3-4 tablespoons of sliced chives for garnish

Instructions

1. Scrub the mussels under cold running water to remove barnacles and other growth.  You can scrub one mussel shell against another mussel shell to efficiently remove barnacles from both mussels.  Soak mussels in fresh water for 1-2 hours.

2. In a large pot, add a few tablespoons of olive oil, and add minced garlic.  After 2 minutes, pour in the bottle of white wine. Add salt to taste. Once boiling, add the mussels and cover.  Lower the heat to medium heat. Simmer for 8-15 minutes, or until mussels are opened.

3.  Remove mussels from heat. Remove mussel meat from shell.  Remove the beard from the mussel meat. Pour and reserve the mussel stock, without pouring out the grit and sand on the bottom of the pot. 

4. Chop the mussel meat finely until organs are not recognizable and put aside, in the refrigerator if necessary.

5. In a large pot over medium high heat, cook 1/4 cup of olive oil and the bacon until the bacon is browned around the edges.

6. Add onions and the celery and cook until the onions begin to become translucent - 6-8 minutes.

7. Add the mussel stock and potatoes, and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to medium and simmer for 8 minutes.

8. Add the corn kernels and herb of choice and cook for 4 more minutes.

9. Add minced mussel meat. Add milk (3 cups) to taste. Add salt and pepper to taste.

10. Ladle soup into individual bowls, and sprinkle with chives and serve.

How to have a constructive meeting

I just got out of a constructive meeting and I was inspired to share some tips on how to hold a good meeting (I wish this post was as funny as the picture, but unfortunately, I am dead serious):

(1) Discuss topics with stakeholders individually in advance.  Forwarding the agenda is not enough, a 1:1 verbal conversation is best, especially regarding controversial subjects.

(2) Have an attitude of openness and curiosity.  It makes the meeting so much more pleasant.

(3) Don't be afraid to bring the meeting back to the agenda when the conversation goes on a tangent, and it will go on a tangent when you have curious, creative people in attendance.

(4) It is all right to joke and laugh and make small talk to relax everyone.

(5) Be up-front about the decision outcomes you would like to see coming out of the meeting.

(6) Standing up to go to the white board wakes people up, and raises your energy level.

(7) Write meeting minutes, and keep track of action item completion.  The act of writing meeting minutes will uncover action items that weren't immediately obvious.

(8) Have a good handout/power point presentation.  This helps with sticking to the agenda and reminds the mediator of points that would otherwise be forgotten.

(9) Bone up. Knowing the subject matter inside and out before a meeting will forward the conversation more speedily and will make the meeting more constructive.

(10) Appreciate your meeting attendees out-loud. Thank them for their time, and appreciate their feedback.

For more tips on holding a successful meeting, please visit the following blog post. 

And now for something completely frivolous... Nude pumps

There is something about looming deadlines that makes me a more prolific blogger.  When I have no impending deadlines, I have nothing to write about. However, when under a time crunch, I procrastinate by blogging away. Anyways, the subject of this blog post is nude pumps: how to wear them, and where to get them.

I've been shopping for the perfect pair of nude pumps for a long time now, but: (1) I have not been able to find reasonably priced, comfortable shoes that don't look too tranny, and (2) despite the generally accepted wisdom that nude pumps are a "must-have" fashion staple, I have no clue how to pair these shoes with actual clothes.

Nude pumps with white

With brightly hued dresses

Nude pumps can be paired with anything I would normally pair with my high heel beige wedges (now unfortunately worn to death).  However, I did notice that the nude pumps are more polished and more lady-like than a casual pair of high-heeled sandals. Also, nude pumps can be paired with brightly colored dresses (see above) and result in a more subtle effect than had that same dress been paired with black shoes.

Casually, with jeans and a boxy top

I found surprisingly few options for pairing nude pumps with pants.  The L.A. fashionistas are pairing them with cargo pants, or jeans (see above). But this look smacks of L.A. This looks good if you are one of those women who do nothing but shop on Rodeo Drive, carrying a tea cup Chihuahua.

Despite the limited clothing options, I think nude pumps would make a worthwhile fashion addition, if just to replace my aforementioned beige wedges.

Banana Republic: $79.50

The Banana Republic version above has a low enough heel for work. And I also favor the suede texture.  However, I don't trust Banana Republic for long term comfort. My comfort standard is that I need to be able to walk a mile or two in the heels without discomfort. 

Coach: $198

The Coach shoes above are really gorgeous.  And they do exhibit more of a stacked toe, which is trendy right now. But the price point is not ideal. And I would prefer no patent leather.

Steve Madden: $89.95

The Steve Madden shoes above are moderately priced, and look more expensive than they are.  However, the stacked toe, when there is no peephole, looks too tranny to me. (For the non-fashionista, "tranny" is an adjective describing transvestites.)

Cole Haan: $335.00

Cole Haan: $298.00

The Cole Haan shoes above, will probably last forever, and are probably incredibly comfortable. Unfortunately, these are not at my price point.

Pelle Moda: $104.67

My favorite find for the price are the Pelle Moda nude pumps above.  They have the suede texture, and stacked toe, and peephole that I prefer. Unfortunately they do not come in the sizes that I'm interested in, at least on Zappos.com.  So, I guess I'll keep looking...

Fish Tacos and Salsa Fresca

Fish tacos are much easier to prepare than one would think.  I tried making them for the first time, and they tasted surprisingly authentic:

Fish Tacos 
Corn tortillas
White fish (I used rockfish)
1/2 cup canola oil
salt to taste (generous)
cayenne pepper to taste

Instructions:
1. Lower the rack in the oven to 4" from the heating element. Set oven to broil. While the oven is heating up, prepare the Salsa Fresca, or prepare the fish:
2. Coat a broiler pan with the canola oil.
3. Place the white fish in the pan. Coat the fish on both sides with the oil using a brush.  (You can also try marinating the fish in lime juice and cilantro for 15 minutes beforehand. I didn't do it, and it is probably unnecessary.)
4. Season fish generously on both sides with salt
5. Season fish with cayenne pepper on both sides
6. When the oven is hot, place the fish in the broiler pan on the rack and cook for 10 minutes, or until fish is flaky. (Don't worry if the canola oil gives off a strange smell while cooking.)
7. Let fish cool, and flake the fish.  There will be a lot of liquid in the pan after cooking, so it is important to salt the fish generously.
8. Place fish in warm corn tortillas with pinto beans and Salsa Fresca below. Garnish plates with lime slices.

Salsa Fresca
1-2 Jalapeno peppers (if using seeds, just 1 pepper is enough)
5 Vine-ripened Tomatoes
4-5 Radishes
1/2 cup cilantro
1/2 red onion
Juice from half a lime
Salt to taste

1. Chop all ingredients in a blender separately.
2. Combine ingredients in a bowl.

I didn't make the cabbage garnish this time, but I looked up a simple Bobby Flay recipe, which I will be sure to attempt next time:

Cabbage Garnish
Shredded white cabbage
Crema or sour cream
Hot sauce
Thinly sliced red onion, and green onion
chopped cilantro leaves
Crema or sour cream

1. Combine all incredients and garnish fish tacos.

Chez TJ

For my birthday, Mark and I ate at famed French restaurant, Chez TJ. This single story house has been around the corner from our house for many years, but it wasn't until my birthday that we decided to give the restaurant a try.


Course 1: Pumpkin Panna Cotta
with Garlic Chips and
Port and Shallots Marmalade
with a Foie Gras Macaron

Chez TJ has a Michelin 1-star rating. In the foodie world, this is a BIG deal.  To give you an idea of how rare a Michelin star is, there are only 39 other restaurants in the San Francisco Bay area with a single Michelin star. Losing a Michelin star, or gaining a Michelin star, is quite literally a matter of life and death. In 2003, a well-known French chef committed suicide when he learned that his restaurant was to be downgraded from 3 Michelin stars to a mere 2 stars.

Course 2: Pacific Amberjack sashimi
with celery salad, yogurt
and smoked beets

In 2007, Chez TJ itself was the center of gossip when chef, Bruno Chemel was fired for losing a Michelin star, dropping the restaurant from the vaunted 2 star realm, to merely one.  It was in the wake of this scandal that we experienced the food at Chez TJ. In retrospect, I doubt we could have been able to tell the difference between 1 or 2 Michelin stars anyway.  I felt that the food was way above my head.

Course 3: Foie Gras Soup with
Almond Foam with
Brioche Foie Gras topped with
Pomegranate Gelee

Course 4: Chestnut raviolini
topped with sweetbreads
and shaved truffles with
a green pea broth

Course 5: Octopus and Oxtail
with Brussel Sprouts Tempura

Mark and I chose the 8 course tasting menu, but with the "amuse bouches" that were offered, we actually ate 10 courses. Dinner took almost 4 hours to complete, and we were served by at least 4 different people.

Course 6: Pork belly with pickled root vegetables, seaweed gastrique and almond sauce

My favorite dishes were the Pork belly dish (see above), and the Octopus and Oxtail dish (see Course #5).  Mark's favorite dish was the Beef rib-eye (see below).  It was also our first time sampling sweetbreads (see Course #4), i.e. thymus glands, and the verdict is in: we really liked it.

Course 7: Beef rib-eye with Bluefoot mushrooms and black garlic gnocchi

Course 8: Cowgirl Creamery Mt. Tam cheese with Roasted Red Grapes and a Honeycomb and Thyme gastrique

Course 9: Happy Birthday Platter of goodies, including passion fruit chewies\

Course 10: Lemon Crostata with a Date Mousse and Coconut Sorbet with a Deconstructed Lemon Reconstructed with Lemon gelee.

In summary, it was memorable experience, however, I really don't think I have an educated enough palate to appreciate the food properly. The flavor combinations were pretty challenging.  Many of the dishes made my head hurt, they were so intellectual.  To the chef's credit, however, I must say that each dish was an explosion of flavor.  I sometimes find European food kind of bland.

If there were any drawbacks to our experience, it would be the decor and the service.  The decor did not match the level of food we were eating. Also, I did not feel that the service was great. I felt like the two hosts were too ingratiating. And one of the servers, could not speak English well, if at all. I had a hard time understanding the dishes he was describing, which is really a shame, because we were spending so much money on our meal, it would have been nice to understand what we were eating.

After all this, my conclusion is that the Michelin star review system is based on real judgement. However, I simply don't have the palate to appreciate it. I think I would rather spend that same money on a 3 day weekend excursion. Our Sequoia National Park vacation, which we recently took, cost about the same as our meal, and I think I enjoyed it more.

What I'm Playing, Reading, Watching, Surfing, II

The Hyperion books by Dan Simmons have landed on many a top 10 Science Fiction lists.  So as any self-respecting science fiction reader would do, I decided to give the books a read. I began Hyperion last month, and just finished its sequel, The Fall of Hyperion on my iPhone. In a nutshell, the books are about a massive war between man, Artificial Intelligence, and the Ousters - an evolved offshoot of man. The Hyperion series is a space opera.  At its worst, I felt like I was muddling through a high schooler's melodramatic first novel.  However, at his best, Dan Simmons showcases his imagination with image after remarkable image.  Take for instance his evocation of the Shrike, a 9 foot tall monster bristling with thorns and spikes, perhaps one of the scariest monsters ever written in the modern age. Also, I love the description of the Consul's space ship.  I wish I had my own personal space craft equipped with a grand piano, full bar, and cushy round sofa pad.

The Hyperion Books

What I'm Surfing
I'm obsessed with reading the Style Section on the New York Times website.  I've been following the runway shows in New York, Milan and Paris religiously and I'm learning to love designers I would have loathed just a couple of years ago. Take for instance this Fall's Prada show.  I realize now that Miuccia Prada is a genius, rather than a hawker of ugly nylon bags, for which she was originally famous.  Her proportions and color choices could be interpreted as dowdy and retro.  But I think she is an innovator-extraordinaire.  She has a genius for reinventing forms and combining textures.

Prada, Fall 2011

Another fashion designer that I've grown to admire is Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton.  I used to make fun of people who owned Louis Vuitton purses.  The prototypical LV bag owner, for me, was someone who aspired to be high-class, but who really wasn't, or at most, was someone who didn't have enough good taste to be original.  But I have since changed my mind. Marc Jacobs has a very evolved and cultivated aesthetic sense.  His latest Fall 2011 fashion show was fetishistic, and decadent, yet tightly prudish all at the same time if such a thing were possible. The fashion reviewers say that his runway show was based on the 1970s cult film, The Night Porter, which was about a masochistic affair between a concentration camp survivor, and her Nazi captor. The theme seems rather obscure to me, but there was no denying the drama as each model arose on stage from a metal cage elevator wearing a juxtaposition of vinyl, with tweed pea coats, buttoned up dresses with hand cuffs.

Louis Vuitton Fall 2011