P90X --I took a break, but I'm back

OK, so I didn't even finish 1 week of P90X before taking a break. But, I'm back now.

Today, I did pullups and pushups for 1 hour (Chest and Back). I was grunting at the end, so I'm pushing myself pretty hard, right? Then it was "Ab Ripper X", which is not getting any easier. The oblique exercises are just killing me. This was the worst session yet.

P90X - Legs and Back, Ab Ripper X

Today, I am feeling sore in my hamstrings and my back from overstretching some muscles during yesterday's yoga session.

After a long day at work today, I finished the "Legs and Back" program. The hardest parts were the seated wall poses and the chair pose. The "back" aspect of the program consisted of mostly pullups. I did pull downs with an elastic band - which wasn't very challenging,. Maybe I should invest in a pull up bar.

Although, it has been only one week, I feel a difference in my body already. And I feel great. After my stressful day at work, it was such a stress relief.

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In other news, I've locked down our refinance interest rate, which was disappointingly high.

I am saving the world at work, too. I was told repeatedly by the VP of R&D today that my project is the highest priority, and that I'll get any resources that I need. That makes me feel less motivated, and more scared. But I'll plod along like I always do, and I think I am doing a good job, and I can only do my best.

P90X Day 3 - Yoga X

So, let it be known that I have been doing yoga for years off and on. I think I'm pretty good. This Yoga X program kicked my butt. I had sweat dripping into my eyes, and the sun salutations just went on forever. I stopped the 1 1/2 hour program with 1/2 hour left to go to work on our house project. Then I had dinner, watched "Big Bang Theory", and before I knew it, it was 10:30 PM, and I did not find the energy to finish the program. Oh well. On to the next. Legs & Back and Ab Ripper X tomorrow.

Labor Day Las Vegas - The Food

So here, finally, is my write up on our brief trip in Las Vegas.

It has been a while since we have done any sort of traveling or vacationing. We have been working a lot on the house, and I was doing this self-discovery thing where I wouldn't actively seek entertainment or adventure until I got really, really bored. If you want to read more on that bit, you can, here.

Wanting to surprise my husband for his birthday (his birthday falls on the Labor Day weekend), I decided to surprise him with a cheap trip to Las Vegas. I got airplane tickets for ~$120 round trip, and hotel for ~$90/night, which is cheap for Labor Day weekend. (On a side note, a surprise trip is something that I want for my birthday, but not necessarily something that Mark wanted, but hey, I am not the most considerate gift giver.)

Well, as it turns out, the trip wasn't cheap at all. We spent a fortune on food, food and more food. When my husband got clued in to the fact that we were visiting Las Vegas (I couldn't keep it a surprise), he got excited about eating at Mario Batali's restaurants. He had thought that this goal was unattainable in his lifetime, as Batali's core restaurant is in New York City. But any "celebrity chef" worth his salt has a restaurant in Las Vegas. Well, I wanted to indulge in my husband's food dream, so we ate at not only one Batali restaurant, but two Batali restaurants, a Bobby Flay restaurant, and throw in Thomas Keller, too, for good measure.

A quick review of restaurants:

Batali Restaurant #1: B&B Ristorante

Mario Batali is known for his oversize personality and his oversize belly. He is one of the iron chefs in "Iron Chef America". What I remember most by his performance on "Iron Chef" was his preparation of a cheese dish that was stir fried in a wok made by a humongous round of parmesan cheese. This demonstrates to me Batali's gluttonous love for food and his subsequent great cuisine. This being said, and counter to Mark's experience, I was a little disappointed by my first Batali restaurant.

Mark had the Sardegna themed 4-course dinner (see picture), accompanied by a flight of wine. I had the pasta and tomato themed 4 course dinner (it tasted like our artisan tomato pastas that we prepare at home). The food was complex, and dare I say, overly intellectual? For example, I had a corn ice cream laced with chili pepper sauce, which was interesting at the very least. All in all, we spent a decadent $400 for both of us. I had had too much to eat and drink, and actually vomited in the ladies' room trash can! Just like the Romans back in their vomitariums!

Bobby Flay Restaurant: Mesa Grill

Although you may have a hard time imagining it, this restaurant demonstrated haute South Western American cuisine. The most memorable food we had was the shrimp appetizer, pork tenderloin in a spicy Southwestern sauce (see picture) and the churro with hot chocolate. The meal was excellent, and the restaurant deserves it's Michelin star. The price was decent as well, topping at around ~$150 for the both of us. Our experience was marred by the drunken pair of couples that sat next to us. There was no shortage of 4 letter words coming out of their mouths, and they made jokes about blow jobs and prostitution very loudly. Fortunately, I did not say anything to them, I was afraid to get beaten up!



Batali Restaurant #2: Carnevino

I am salivating just thinking of the juicy steaks that Mark and I had at Mario Batali's steak house. This was the best steak I've ever had, and possibly will ever have (and I have had my share of excellent food). Let me first set the scene: At the table next to us, were a couple of real dandies. These were young 20-something year old men wearing button down shirts in bright pastel stripe, their hair messed up artfully a la Hugh Grant. At the other table was a Hindu and two Caucasian friends. The Hindu mentioned to the waiter that he was about to try meat for the very first time in his life. The waiter did not skip a beat, and said, "well, this is a good place to try it." I wonder if the Hindu's meat lived up to his expectations. We were too immersed in our meal to observe.

We decided to have "La Fiorentina" ($70/person) which is a porterhouse steak for two prepared in the Florentine style (i.e. grilled rare to medium rare with a simple rosemary, salt and pepper seasoning, and then carved at your table). The steak was transcendent. I have had food that made me close my eyes in pleasure. I have had food that made me wonder at its complexity. But, I have never had food that made me want to tear up, and these steaks made me want to cry.

First of all, American cows don't have a lot of flavor. I am still not certain that if I were blind folded, and fed some beef, that I would be able to discern what it was. But these steaks were works of art in their artful charring on the outside and tenderness on the inside. And they were intensely flavored, but what was the flavoring? Mark argued that what we were tasting was the essense of cow. I argued that Batali must have dipped the steaks in bacon lard. Because what I was tasting was a little gamey, a little smokey, and scrumptious. Apparently, the meat cellar guy at Carnevino selects his meat alongside the USDA judge. The meat he chooses is beyond USDA prime grade in terms of marbling and flavor. I asked the waiter that we doggy bag the T-bone for later gnawing. They discreetly wrapped the bone in foil, and placed it in a little Carnevino shopping bag. And gnaw the bone I did the following morning in the hotel room!

Before I bore you to death, I just wanted to mention our transcendent side dishes and wine: bread with bacon lard and butter (yes, they served bacon grease with the bread, and it was to die for). Mashed potates with mascarpone cheese and "guanciale" (Italian bacon made from pig jowl), grilled octopus with chilies and citrus. I also had my first significant Barolo wine (from Piemonte), which is a light wine that tasted of strawberries. This wine broke my perception that Italian wine was not very good. So now, I think it can be good, but I am still not convinced that it is worth the price.

Thomas Keller's Bouchon Bakery:

Every morning, my husband dragged me to the other side of the Las Vegas strip so that we could have breakfast at Bouchon Bakery. Each morning, we ordered lattes, a pastry, and a spread of French macaroons. Mark is really into macaroons right now. Now, these aren't your ordinary coconut macaroons that we Americans are familiar with. These are fancy cookies, even by French standards (see picture). They come in all flavors, from vanilla, to coffee, fennel and raspberry. (In case you don't follow foodie current events, Thomas Keller is also the chef of the world famous French Laundry, and was also a consultant on the Disney film, Ratatouille.)

The Beginning of P90X - Plyometrics, Shoulder and Arms, and Ab Ripper X

As of yesterday, I have started the P90X workout program. My husband and his coworkers have been doing it. As a woman, I felt hesitant to try it at first. The workouts seemed a little militaristic. I prefer dancey, or body/mind programs like yoga, pilates, or Zumba. Also, the workouts seemed hard. I tried the first program, Chest and Back a few months ago, it's really a full hour of pushups and pullups, and I was so sore and intimidated, that I stopped for a while.

Well, now I am going to begin for real. My local gym shut down this past week. And I also found out that I gained 10 lbs over the last 8 months! This is like, 10% of my body mass! I thought I had been exercising a lot, but apparently, I need to rev it up a notch, so here I am.

Review so far:

Yesterday, I did the Plyometrics program as the opening of my program (I did not want to start with the suggested "Chest and Back" because I've already done it twice on separate occasions previously and I don't want to get bored). I managed to finish the whole thing, which is better than the first time I tried the program when I had to stop with 20 minutes to go. This time, I modified the jumps a little bit so that my feet barely left the ground, and I was able to finish it. But I was still out of breath and dripping with sweat. Today, my hamstrings and abductor muscles are feeling pretty sore. My calves are also feeling a bit tight.

Today, I did the "Shoulders and Arms" and the "Ab Ripper X" according to the program. I don't have a plethora of weights at my disposal, so I used my rubber band. Note to self, must wear sneakers. The band hurt my feet, and one time the cord slipped and snapped and hit me in the inner thigh. That hurt. The rubber band was hard to calibrate to get the right amount of repetitions (I am aiming for the 12 to 15 rep range). I am actually not certain that I worked my arms enough. But I won't be able to know until tomorrow when my muscles get sore. I had a bit of difficulty completing the Ab ripper X, which is a 15 minute blast of stomach exercises. But my stomach was sore from working abs 2 days ago. I have tried this program previously with my husband and I have been able to complete it in the past, due to my months and years worth of pilates training. (When I went to my gym, I used to also to to 1 hour of abs class, so that certainly helped as well.)

All in all, I am excited, and hopefully I can keep this up.

Beauty (Inside and Out)

I think I was at the airport on a business trip when I read this article. It was about looking, feeling and being beautiful. While taking the quiz in the article, I learned so much about who I think I want to become someday that I tore the pages out of the magazine to remember for myself. Take a look at this quiz. What answers do you have for each question?

Part I. Looking Beautiful
1. Select the body below that most closely corresponds to yours.

2. Then select the body you want (not the one that you think others might).

For the remaining questions, enter a number from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree).
3. "I am happy with the way my face looks." ___
4. "There is nothing about my face that I would change, even if I could." ___
5. "I am happy with the skin on my face." ___
6. "I am happy with my hair and the way I take care of it." ___

Scoring: For questions 1 and 2 count the number of bodies between the two you picked: If there are 6 or 7 bodes, enter 1;
5 bodies, enter 3;
2 bodies, enter 12,
1 body, enter 15;
0 bodies, enter 18.
If you chose the same body (congratulations), enter 21.

Add that number to the numbers you gave to questions 3 though 6 ___

If your score is:
4 to 18: There's a lot about your appearance that bothers you. You probably feel bad whenever you look in the mirror. The truth is, although it may take work, there are many things you can do to improve your appearance.
19 to 30: You don't feel like putting a paper bag over your head, but you aren't thrilled with the way you look, either. It may be that you want to change your body, face, or hair-and you can, so it won't be ong before this score starts to go up.
31 to 39: Just because you may enjoy catching a glimpse of your reflection in a shop window, that doesn't mean there aren't a few upgrades you'd like to make.l
40 to 49: Frankly, we're suprirsed you had time to fill out this survey between modeling gigs. All we can say is, stay out of the sun, wear your seat belt, and keep your feet on the ground.

Part II: Feeling Beautiful
How true do you find these statements? Enger a number from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7(strongly agree).
7. "I have not felt any physical pain today." ___
8. "In a typical week, I don't feel any pain." ___
9. "I have the energy I need to do what I want to do." ___
10. "When I wake up in the morning, I feel energetic." ___
Scoring: Togal your answers from questions 7 through 10: ____

Interpreting the number
If your score is:
4 to 14: You may have chronic pain, which makes you feel tired. And because your body hurts, you can't exercise as much as you'd like, so you're dragging even more. Working to improve your health is important for you.
15 to 21: Sometimes you're relieved just to get through the day-certainly not a recipe for feeling radiant. There is a lot you can do to feel better and increase your energy level.
22 to 28: No tmuch keeps you from doing what you want to do . The trick is to maintain your good health.

Part III:
Being Beautiful:

11. In general, how happy or unhappy do you usually feel? Choose only one statement and write the letter here: ___
(a) Extremely happy: ecstatic, joyous, fantastic!
(b) Very happy: really good, elated!
(c) Pretty happy: spirits high, feeling good.
(d) Mildly happy: feeling failry good and somewhat cheerful.
(e) Slightly happy: just a bit above neutral.
(f) Neutral: not particularly happy or unhappy.
(g) Slightly unhappy: just a bit below neutral.
(h) Mildly unhappy: a little low.
(i)Pretty unhappy: somewhat blue, spirits down.
(j) Very unhappy: depressed, spirits very low.
(k) Extremely unhappy: utterly depressed, completely down.

How true are these statements? Enter a number from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree).
12. "I'm satisfied with my life." ___
13. "If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing."
14. "I am very comfortable with myself." ___
15. "I perform well at many things." ___
16. "I find inner strength from my prayers, meditations, or quieting my mind." ___
17. "I believe that on some level my life is intimately connected to all of mankind." ___

Scoring: For question 11, choose the number that corresponds to the letter you picked. Write it here: ___

a) 11, (b) 10, (c) 9, (d) 8, (e) 7, (f) 6, (g) 5, (h) 4, (i) 3, (j) 2, (k) 1

Add this number to the answers from questions 12 through 17: ___

Interpreting the number:

If your score is:

7 to 19: You're not that happy with life-or yourself. Other people may be down on you, too. You might want to talk to a therapist or counselor if you aren't doing so already. Depression afects many people and can stop you from seeing your own beauty.

20 to 31: There are days when you think you could be happier and doing better at living up to your potential. You can definitely work on being more effective, and beautiful in the broadest sense of the word. You may also want to work on your spiritual health - there's good evidence it can increase your life satisfaction.

32 to 42: Overall, you feel pretty good about your place in the universe. Since you can still be hard on yourself, it's wise to work on making that hapen less often.

43 to 53: You have a lot of inner and outer beauty, which is why you're probably already continuing your quest for improvement.

Part IV: Understanding You

From the list below, pick the 5 characteristics that you think most accurately describe you. Since our greatest strengths are often invisible to us, you may want to get feedback from people who know you well.

______, _______, _______, _______, _______

Smart, Confident, Easygoing
Knowledgeable, Inventive, Moral
Honest, Organized, Rich
Excellent writer, Powerful, Sexy
Funny, Humble, Passionate
Empathetic, Reliable, Supportive
Great parent, Outgoing, Athletic
Excellent cook, Excellent caretaker, Very sexually active
Caring, Rational, Stylish
Gentle, Conventional, Wise
Musical, Personalbe, Famous
In excellent shape, Giver (of time or money), Loyal
Strict, Authentic, Unflappable
Capable, Unconventional, Independent
Watchful, Dependent, Leader
Entertaining, Neat, Monogamous
Great friend, Breadwinner, Content
High achiever at work, Holder of high standards, Inspiring
Artistic, Good-looking, Spontaneous
Excellent hostess, Politically active, Married/partnered

19. Now go back to the list and pick 5 words - the same or different - that describe the potential you, the person you'd ideally like to be.
_________, ________, _______, _________, ________

Scoring: Tally how many words overlap between the two lists you made. For each word that is the same, add 6 points (if no words overlap, you score is 0 points; if all 5 are the same, your score will be 30 points).

Interpreting the number

If your score is:

0: You are not the person you want to be. Fortunately the characteristics you circled are things you can change.

1 to 18: You've started to achieve your ideals but you have a lot more work to do.

19 to 30: You're well on your way. Keep it up.

Add your scores from each of the four sections to determine your "You-Q": The closer you are to your ideal. Your score tells you how good you feel about who you are. It also offers a sense of how well you've been able to address changes and challenges. When you feel that you're living to your full potential, you're at your most authentically beautiful.

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In the margins of the article, I had kept my score:

Part I: 37

This seems like a pretty high number. Despite the few extra pounds that I would like to lose, I guess I still have a pretty good physical self-image.

Part II: 17

This is a pretty average number. I need to work on my muscle tightness, which causes some pain. Also, I need to find more energy, somewhere. I'm not sure where.

Part III: 41

According to the quiz, this score reflects that I am pretty happy on average, so I was a little surprised. This number seems unusually high when taking into account that I was very unhappy at work when I took the quiz. Also, the number is higher than expected since I sometimes feel like I am not making the most of my life, and feel a void at times. However, it goes to show that in spite of the void one feels, I am generally a happy person.

Part IV: What I think I am: "Smart, Caring, Holder of high standards, Honest, Capable."

What I want to become: "Wise, Confident, Caring, Content, Capable"

I had a hard time choosing 5 words to describe myself, and an even harder time finding words to describe what I want to become. Looking back on these words, I think I would revise my choices:

Now, what I think I am: "Smart, Capable, Holder of high standards, Independent, Married/partnered."

Now, what I want to become: "Passionate, Holder of high standards, Independent, Unconventional, Confident"

I have a feeling that these words will continue to evolve...

I'm back...

Sorry, it's been so long since I've written in this blog. I have been on a sort of break. Well, in summary, I got laid off, got hired by another company in the following month, and well, it was a lot of change all at once. I didn't feel like blogging, or doing anything creative for that matter. I just wanted to sit, and take things in, let myself adapt to my new job for a while.

I told everyone that I was going to sit and do nothing until I got bored, which for people who have known me in recent years, is unusual behavior, since having adventures has been my goal in my late 20s and early 30s. However, when viewed in context of my entire life, being a boring coach potato is not so unusual. I have had years strung together where I didn't travel, didn't create anything, didn't feel passionate about anything at all. In the past 6 months, that has been what I have been feeling (or not feeling). I didn't feel particularly fond about anything, or excited to do anything in particular. I anesthetized myself by surfing the internet, playing video games (more on this at some poinjt), going to the gym.

Just a little more insight into my mental journey: being laid off is not fun. As much as I claimed that my self-esteem was unperturbed, being laid off is traumatizing. I wish I hadn't wasted my time at the company. I was miserable at the place, and was a fish out of water. However, I also realized how much more I needed to learn and improve, and I did learn and improve in some ways.

On the other hand, joining my new company has been a good/strenous experience. Within my first week at my new company, I felt like I had been there forever. I fit right in with my coworkers, and was back to doing the type of work I like, challenging medical device design. However, I felt like bursting into tears each week, and did. Because I was contract-to-hire, and the manager was inscrutable, I felt like I was walking on eggshells, which is not a good feeling coming off of a layoff, after which you are not feeling good about yourself anyway. The emotional stress of being a contractor was enough to lay me low for a while.

Fortunately, I was hired to full-time status recently. With the full-time hire, has come a subtle change in my work attitude. I have been working non-stop -- (is it to impress my boss? because I care that much?) I just haven't had time to have a life outside of work.

Finally, lately I've been experiencing a subtle spiritual shift. Part of this shift has been: instead of always seeking/achieving, maybe I should just enjoy life. My mantra these days is "to be in the moment", because maybe that is all there really is to life. (I don't want to always be yearning and find that I missed out on being happy.) Well, I'm a little sick of "being in my moment." What I am trying to figure out is how to strike a balance between enjoying my mundane coach potato life, and actually engaging with life. How to enjoy day to day existence yet, being passionate again, meeting new and interesting people and having interesting adventures.