From a very early age, I have asked myself: "How can I make something of my life?" This question has given me much angst in my life (as I am sure it has for others), so much so that I have spent many nights staring up at the ceiling, and have resorted to such measures as going to meditation retreats and such. I think this past year, I have mellowed out. Or is it that I have all but given up?When I was little, I had such high hopes. I wanted to be so many different things. The occupations that I always came back to were the following:
(1) Marine biologist
(2) Archaeologist
(3) Architect for building in outer space or underwater
(4) Paleontologist
(My mother claims that after watching dance shows at Radio City Music Hall in New York City at age 7, that I wanted to be a Rockette. But I don't ever remember having such an ambition. I do remember practicing the can-can endlessly, however.)
So where does this leave me now? And realistically will it ever change?
I am a mechanical design engineer. I have always worked in creative, even artistic environments. At my current place of work, my design interests are encouraged to expand into interior design/Christmas card design/web design. The engineering projects are challenging, interesting and always different.
It seems as though my early interest in science (see occupations #1, 2 and 4 above) has found satisfaction later in life, albeit in the engineering field. And some how, my early proclivity towards creativity and designing (see occupation #3 above) has also found an outlet, in the design of plastic injection molded parts and creation of new products.
So what's wrong? I should be grateful. Exactly.
It there is something to tweak in my career it would be to lean more towards projects that benefit the environment or people in some way. Ideally, I would like to work on alternative energy projects, and underwater robotics. I am pretty sure this can be achieved if I put my mind to it. But what I am working on now ain't half bad. The majority of my projects have been medical devices designed to save lives, if not improve life drastically. And just recently, I have been working on consumer products, which I have never worked on before, and also complex mechanisms that I have never witnessed before.
What pained me the most in previous years was feeling a lack of recognition and feeling unfairly treated. But this past year, I started to lose the bitterness: (1) life is unfair sometimes, (2) get over yourself as quickly as possible, (3) my true aim is to help the world, (4) feel gratitude.
Which leads me to all of the things that I should be grateful for, but that are so easy for me to overlook:
This year I got married after many months in 2008 of planning. Many people approached me and stated they had a great time. Admittedly, the wedding was imaginative and different, featuring an underwater wedding ceremony, beach barbeques, relaxed dress code and setting, and an island atmosphere. I enjoyed it too, despite being a bit stressed. I can't wait until someone else has a destination wedding, so that I can completely relax and enjoy. In retrospect, I would have rather saved the money that was spent towards the wedding, but many years from now, I can look back on the memories fondly, as I look back on my friends' weddings fondly. Also, married life is good. If there is something that I am grateful for it is that.
Also, this past year was a great year for friendships. I feel surrounded and supported by good friends. In some cases, friendships were revived after a few years of coldness. In other cases friendships persist in spite of distances. And old friendships continue to comfort. With family, too, relationships are strengthening, and I hope they continue to strengthen. Perhaps this is a sign that I am wisening up. If I continue to show the warmth that is inside my heart to others, and if I try to demonstrate tolerance, and care for others, I think this trend will continue to move forward instead of backwards. A warm gesture on a daily basis can certainly make someone else's day just a little brighter, and my own too.
This leads me to discuss the new year's resolutions. As I mentioned before, I want to "get over myself as quickly as possible", i.e. develop my emotional resilience. There are studies that show that happier people get over breakups faster than naturally depressed people. People who can get over flashes of anger faster, are better adjusted than those who cannot (read "Social Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman if you want to learn more). Emotional resilience is not something that I have in abundance. Also, it would be a fun little project for me to work on. If I ever feel pissed off, I can tell myself to get over it as part of my own self development.
Other things that I want to work on:
So what's wrong? I should be grateful. Exactly.
It there is something to tweak in my career it would be to lean more towards projects that benefit the environment or people in some way. Ideally, I would like to work on alternative energy projects, and underwater robotics. I am pretty sure this can be achieved if I put my mind to it. But what I am working on now ain't half bad. The majority of my projects have been medical devices designed to save lives, if not improve life drastically. And just recently, I have been working on consumer products, which I have never worked on before, and also complex mechanisms that I have never witnessed before.
What pained me the most in previous years was feeling a lack of recognition and feeling unfairly treated. But this past year, I started to lose the bitterness: (1) life is unfair sometimes, (2) get over yourself as quickly as possible, (3) my true aim is to help the world, (4) feel gratitude.
Which leads me to all of the things that I should be grateful for, but that are so easy for me to overlook:
This year I got married after many months in 2008 of planning. Many people approached me and stated they had a great time. Admittedly, the wedding was imaginative and different, featuring an underwater wedding ceremony, beach barbeques, relaxed dress code and setting, and an island atmosphere. I enjoyed it too, despite being a bit stressed. I can't wait until someone else has a destination wedding, so that I can completely relax and enjoy. In retrospect, I would have rather saved the money that was spent towards the wedding, but many years from now, I can look back on the memories fondly, as I look back on my friends' weddings fondly. Also, married life is good. If there is something that I am grateful for it is that.
Also, this past year was a great year for friendships. I feel surrounded and supported by good friends. In some cases, friendships were revived after a few years of coldness. In other cases friendships persist in spite of distances. And old friendships continue to comfort. With family, too, relationships are strengthening, and I hope they continue to strengthen. Perhaps this is a sign that I am wisening up. If I continue to show the warmth that is inside my heart to others, and if I try to demonstrate tolerance, and care for others, I think this trend will continue to move forward instead of backwards. A warm gesture on a daily basis can certainly make someone else's day just a little brighter, and my own too.
This leads me to discuss the new year's resolutions. As I mentioned before, I want to "get over myself as quickly as possible", i.e. develop my emotional resilience. There are studies that show that happier people get over breakups faster than naturally depressed people. People who can get over flashes of anger faster, are better adjusted than those who cannot (read "Social Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman if you want to learn more). Emotional resilience is not something that I have in abundance. Also, it would be a fun little project for me to work on. If I ever feel pissed off, I can tell myself to get over it as part of my own self development.
Other things that I want to work on:
(1) increase tolerance and minimize judgement of others
(2) listen to my gut
(3) care for others and focus less on myself
(4) be better with finances
(5) be more eloquent
(6) exercise my brain on occasion, maybe know world affairs
(7) continue to write on a frequent basis
Well, that's it for now. What are your new year's resolutions?
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