Tying the Knot -- Down Under

A friend of ours wrote an article about our underwater wedding in the local Catalina newspaper. Enjoy:

DIVE DRY WITH DR. BILL #303: TYING THE KNOT... DOWN UNDER

Although my research and educational work takes me underwater frequently, it is usually a lonely activity since I dive solo to focus on my subjects and video taping. However, one of the joys of SCUBA diving for me has been the friendships I've made during my "surface intervals." I've met a lot of divers at the Casino Point Dive Park and in the years I was on board SCUBA Luv's King Neptune. Many of them have valued my role as a marine life ID "ex-spurt" (former little drip), since one of my goals is to further enrich the dive experience for divers, as well as to expose non-divers to the wonders of the sea that surrounds us here on Catalina Island. There are even a few who have appreciated my "unusual" sense of humor.

This past weekend highlighted two of those friendships when divers Mark and Mina came down to the island to "tie the knot" (and I'm not referring to a bowline or a square knot). A few months back, Mina came down to stay with me so she could plan the wedding and we could get a few dives in. She asked if I would video the underwater ceremony and how much it would cost, but I said I'd do it as my wedding gift to them. Early last week I was really anticipating the event with excitement as I knew it would be a lot of fun.

Last Thursday we gathered at the dive park for the underwater ceremony. I filmed the guests topside as they prepared for the dive, and minister/dive instructor Tim Mitchell of SCUBA Luv who gave the dive briefing and would officiate at the ceremony. Three of the guests had recently received their SCUBA certifications so they could participate. Mark wore a white shirt and tie over his wetsuit and Mina donned a long white veil. Several of the male guests descended with ties and one woman had a very colorful skirt over her wetsuit. Since this was a blessed occasion, I wore my "holy" wetsuit since I would be filming... and therefore off-camera.

Once all the divers had descended, Tim got everyone positioned while I filmed the guests. Since vows cannot be spoken underwater without very expensive full face masks and communications equipment, they are usually done by writing on a diver's slate. Conditions were not ideal as bat rays were stirring up the sediments in the park and visibility had dropped. This required me to get in closer to get decent footage.

Fortunately the divers were very good about not imitating the bat rays, so visibility did not decline further. One of the occupational hazards of filming an underwater wedding are the bubbles from the divers' regulators, but I could generally get a clear shot with this group. Another dilemma is the problem of wedding crashers. I'm not talking about the likes of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. However, there were hundreds if not thousands of "uninvited" guests in the form of kelp bass, garibaldi, sheephead, rock wrasse, señorita, halfmoon, and opaleye. They kept swimming in front of the camera, ruining scenes I was filming... but occasionally making them more humorous as well!

Tim held out the slate for Mark and Mina to affix their "I do's" to, and then another slate created by Mina to pronounce them husband and wife and tell them to kiss (as if they needed an excuse). The regulators came out of their mouths and they rubbed masks as their lips met... very romantic! Because rice can expand greatly if ingested by fish underwater, it is not used in such ceremonies. Instead, there were many bags of frozen peas and other vegetables to release. It was at this point that the "uninvited" guests became the focus of the ceremony as they swarmed around the divers gulping down the goodies.

Suddenly the wedding became rather hysterical as Mina's long white veil acted like a fish net, trapping kelp bass inside it. Tim and Mark made sure that the undersized fish were removed and released. Even the legal fish were granted their freedom since Mina had already made the "catch of the day" and the limit on that is just one! I'm not sure she had a fishing license, but know she had a wedding license! When we played the edited video for the non-divers at the topside reception, these scenes elicited roars of laughter from the crowd and many requests for copies of the DVD.

Since we weren't entirely certain an underwater wedding was legal above water, Mina and Mark had a beautiful topside ceremony officiated by Ann Marshall. Many of the guests were dressed to the hilt, but Dr. Bill attended in a "Hawaiian" shirt (with golden Chinese dragons on a blue background in honor of Mina's family). I sat with the lovely Valerie, another diver I met when they all visited a few years back and an occasional dive buddy. Her eyes are mesmerizing and when the four of us were photographed under the wedding arch, I suggested a double wedding. Fortunately, Valerie was too smart for that, and I think her boyfriend would have strongly objected... if he wasn't in France at the time! Both of us teared up a bit when one of Mina's aunts read a poem in the original Mandarin, then as translated into English by Mina's mother.

None of the fish attended the topside wedding ceremony or reception. Hmmm, on second thought, there was a fantastic cioppino with a number of marine species I could identify both by sight... and by taste! I was seated at a truly international table with two guests from Hong Kong, two originally from India, two from mainland China and two from the US. Mina's father, a distinguished doctor from Hong Kong, sat next to me and we engaged in a wonderful and very intellectually satisfying dialogue during dinner. The rest of the table joined in with some of the conversation in Mandarin, Cantonese or Hindi. Topics ranged far and wide, but one important focus was on the upcoming presidential election here. Following the reception, many of us ended up at El Galleon for karaoke.

So a friendship begun during a dive trip a few years ago evolved into a wonderful event to celebrate. I thoroughly enjoyed being part of my friends' special day and there were so many wonderful folks to talk with and share the experience. Although we weren't seated together, I had a number of opportunities to talk to Mark's parents and family during morning coffee at C. C. Gallaghers and an informal dinner at the Descanso Beach Club. All my "best fishes" for the future, Mark and Mina!

© 2008 Dr. Bill Bushing. Watch the "Dive Dry with Dr. Bill" underwater videos on Catalina Cable TV channel 49, 10:00 AM and 5:00 PM weekdays. My latest DVD's on "Sharks and Rays of Southern California," "Echinoderms of Southern California," "Cephalopods of Southern California" and "Wrasses and Basses of Southern California" are now available. Yes, take Dr. Bill home with you... we'll both be glad you did! For more information see my website www.StarThrower.org/products/DVD.htm or call 310-510-8436.

Image caption: Mark and Mina "tying the knot" under water; kelp bass caught in Mina's veil; Mark, Mina, Valerie and myself at the topside ceremony (image courtesy of Tim Mitchell).

Wedding Aftermath

The morning after the wedding...

Mina's Bachelorette Party

Brave Women

From left: Joann, Coco, Sweta, me, Valerie and Cherie

Of the handful of bachelorette parties I have ever attended, I think mine was one of the most fun. Despite being part of Labor Day weekend, 9 courageous women joined me to celebrate my last days as a bachelorette.

The evening started at Town's End Restaurant in San Francisco, where us women were treated to a 3 course meal. I had a salad, the Ling Cod (I always wanted to taste this fish I keep encountering underwater), and a peach tart. By the way, Ling Cod is pretty flavorless and a bit tough. Jean blinded us with her new engagement ring and regaled us with the story of her engagement. PC is a lucky guy!

Coco, who is the most innocent of the entire bunch, shocked us by buying me a tiara studded with tiny pink phallusses, which I quickly donned (see below). She also assembled coin cell batteries into a tiny silicone rubber encased doodad. Wasn't sure what it was, until the device began vibrating upon activation. Below, I am attaching this vibrator to my dress.

Sophisticated Women on the Town

From the restaurant, we climbed into a stretch limo that would take us to the next venue. We poured champagne into waiting champagne glasses and I thoroughly enjoyed the glamor of being in a stretch limo, although I usually scoff at such things. The moon roof was open so we took the opportunity to stick our heads out and whoop at pedestrians, until the driver told us to get down. Below, Joann and Mina are getting a whiff of the refreshing night air.

Sticking our heads above the stretch limo

Upon entering Asia SF, a club famous for drag queen performances, we were escorted into a room tightly curtained off from the rest of the club. Those courageous enough to last this long were subjected to "special entertainment", as Valerie, warned us we would. Coco ran off into the night before the entertainment would commence, but brave Sweta stayed behind and impressed me with her daring.

There was a small wooden chair in the center of the room where I was told to sit. I started to freak out at the humiliating prospect of being given a lap dance while on display. The girls gleefully stuck $60 dollars worth of dollar bills everywhere on my body for the male stripper to find with his teeth. I was completely frightened, and felt not a little dread as the male stripper entered the room. I didn't have to pretend to act consistent with contemporary American female behavior when I shrieked into my hands.

Myself and the stripper guy, Joann and Sweta cracking up in the background

I was subjected to various humiliations, such as stuffing dollar bills into his g-string, rubbing oil into his butt cheeks and other forms of grossness. All the other girls were shrieking with laughter and running around taking flash pictures. I observed that his skin was very soft, like a girl's, and entirely hairless.

I think I rather enjoyed watching the other women in the seat of humiliation. Everyone was pretty funny. Valerie announced, "I'm scared" before taking her turn. I have never observed her scared before. I think she was pretty grossed out when the stripper stuck his face into her chest.

Cherie looked like she was taking everything in good humor. She looked like she was thoroughly enjoying herself, and was laughing the entire time. A little crease above her nose belied a faint disgust.

Sweta sat staunchly. She looked like she was treating the experience like a scientific experiment. Later on in the car, she innocently declared apropos nothing, "And then I touched his oily bum," to which we all cracked up in laughter.

Joann, of course, took full advantage of the stripper. She slow danced with him, and looked like she enjoyed being slaved over.

Ching and Jean were extremely difficult to pin down. Jean, who is forceful in the workplace, had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the chair. Even then, she wouldn't remove her arms from covering her face. Ching successfully hid by blending into her seat. Fortunately for her, she escaped before the stripper, who acted like he was on a strict time-table, took off for the next group of bachelorettes.

After the stripper fiasco, we danced the night away. Tired, with sore feet, we ended the night with a banana split and fries at an all night diner. We vowed to do it all again soon.

All of this has reminded me how much I value in my friends the ability to have fun. I also value bravery as one of my most valued characteristics in a person. These girls, who attended my bachelorette party, have demonstrated these two characteristics in spades.