Dispassionate Aid

At yoga today, a guy dislocated his knee cap. There was a loud pop in the room. Next thing I knew, we were propping up this man with all the blankets and pillows we could find. Five minutes later, a firetruck shows up. The firemen lift the man up onto a gurney with his yoga mat and took him to the hospital.

There were two striking things about this story. There were two different types of reactions in the room of yoga students. On the one hand, there were those who felt concern for the man, but who helped in a calm and dispassionate fashion. On the other hand, there was a student who continued to do his yoga, even with the firemen, and the gurney in the room. I was in the first group of people.

While the situation was unfolding, I made an effort to stay composed. I felt an onrush of concern for the man. However, I delved into what I was feeling, saw myself in the room from the point of view of an observor, and attained a sort of detachment. While detached, I coolly gave aid. I wonder if this sort of dispassionate aid is where my meditation practice is taking me.

Breakfast Song, by Elizabeth Bishop

A beautiful love poem I heard on NPR today:

Breakfast Song
by Elizabeth Bishop

My love, my saving grace,
your eyes are awfully blue.
I kiss your funny face,
your coffee-flavored mouth.
Last night I slept with you.
Today I love you so
how can I bear to go
(as soon I must, I know)
to bed with ugly death
in that cold, filthy place,
to sleep there without you,
without the easy breath
and nightlong, limblong warmth
I've grown accustomed to?
--Nobody wants to die;
tell me it is a lie!
But no, I know it's true.
It's just the common case;
there's nothing one can do.
My love, my saving grace,
your eyes are awfully blue
early and instant blue.

Hitchiking Octopus, Monastery Beach Video, and more

Hitchhiking Octopus

(picture courtesy of Dan B.)

Today was a very good day to go diving (see pic below).

Today's Swell Forecast

Plus, some video taping took place for the "How to Safely Shore Dive Monastery Beach" dive video that Doc Wong is putting together. Dave (the owner of the boat) was taking part in the dive video, so we dropped him off just 50 feet from Monastery beach, so he could do a one-way dive to shore. As we motored off Monastery Beach, we saw Chuck Tribolet on his Boston Whaler, also waiting to take part in the dive video.

When we came back after our first dive to pick Dave up, we discovered he had not met up with the rest of the videotape crew. We learned that the video was taking place on a different part of the beach. Dave swam to shore and waited around for nothing. Despite this miscommunication, it was still a nice, mellow day to go diving.

Dive #1: Moss Cove (Cumulative Dive #157)

Max Depth: 86 feet
Time: 0:30 minutes
Buddies: Mark
Temperature: Oceanic Computer 41 deg. F (47 deg. F)
Visibility: 30 feet
Weight worn: 24 lbs (20 on weight belt)

Observations:
This site sits just outside the Point Lobos Marine Reserve border, and therefore showcases a runoff of fish life from the sanctuary. We weren't disappointed, and saw a school of black rockfish hanging out at the top of this sharp ridgeline. We also saw:

• Acanthadoris hudsoni
• Diaulula sandiegensis
• a small furry and white nudibranch
• a China Rockfish,
• some unusual white sea urchins with red tips
• orange kelp greenling?
• a sea anemone eating a moon jelly

The site was also replete with abundant strawberry anemones, featherduster worms, hydrocorals, orange sea cucumbers and sponges.

Upon surfacing, Gary dumped a beer can he found underwater into a bucket on the boat. We found out, however, that that was not all that he had salvaged. A small octopus had made it's home inside the can, and was attempting to crawl out of the bucket (see first pic above). After taking a few pictures of the octopus, we dropped it back into the ocean, where it bade us farewell with a couple of squirts of ink.

Dive #2: Local's Ledge (Cumulative Dive #158)
Max Depth: 90 feet
Time: 0:33 minutes
Buddies: Mark, Gary, Dave M., Dan B.
Temperature: Oceanic Computer 41 deg. F (47 deg. F)
Visibility: 40 feet
Weight: 20 lbs (all on belt)

Observations:
This site is known for its narrow channel topography, prompting a high flow of nutrients courtesy of the Venturi effect, according to Dave's dive briefing (ah, don't you love engineering speak). The nutrients were in evidence, for every inch of the channels we swam through was plastered with technicolor strawberry anemones, hydrocoral, orange cup coral and sponges. Running into the yellow caution zone on our nitrogen loading meters prompted us to return to the boat, although I wish we could have stayed longer.

Weekend To Do List

Wedding To Do

1. Reserve blocks of Catalina hotels and houses
2. Send out .ai files for printing.
3. Proofread .ai files.
4. Compose e-mail to Elizabeth for wedding ceremony options.

Other To Do

1. Buy Mother's Day Gift
2. Prepare CD-Rom of Alaska photos
3. Prepare CD-Rom of Jeffie's wedding photos
4. Buy wedding gifts, part I.
5. Buy wedding gifts, part II.

Culture Shock

I am experiencing culture shock at work. My former company was a stodgy, corporate environment. My current company is wacky. It prizes innovation and creativity over everything. Here are some quick brush strokes.

During my interview:

• In my future boss's office, there is a disco ball, and garish pink furry pillows. It turns out his office was punk'd while he was on vacation.
• I am proudly walked to the "Post-It Wall", the project of an art intern. See picture above for a glimpse. (This would have been considered very unprofessional in my former corporate environment, and it would have been taken down immediately.)

On my first day of work:

• I am told to go on a scavenger hunt that is designed to introduce me to people.
• A stuffed bird head looks at me from the other side of my cube, except that this bird is not stuffed. It is a real African Gray Parrot.

Normal Everyday:

• I spend hours in the machine shop, making mockups with hot-glue, and plumbing parts. The mockups resemble bongs. In our meeting with a client, the director inflates one of the mockups in his mouth. The mockup is a modified party favor. The client doesn't blink an eye.
• We have margaritas, wine or beers every Friday afternoon.
• Whiteboards were previously banned in my previous place of work. There are whiteboards everywhere at my new place. Including a 4'X8' whiteboard that takes up the entire wall of my cube.
• I walk home in 15 minutes flat.

Today:

• I have a long conversation with the "artist-in-residence" at my company. A real artist rents out a cubicle in order to gain inspiration from us engineers, and we from him. We have a conversation about a business venture he has just devoted his life's savings into.
• We have a tasting of the grappa our CEO brought back from Tuscany.
• We have a water taste test from various types of filtered water. This is for an entrepreneurial side project that my company is gaining a share of profits for.

Not everything is rosy. I meditate to help me adapt as quickly as possible to these cultural changes. Also, there will be harder technical challenges than I have ever faced before where I was the technical lead. We will see how that turns out. It looks like I'm in over my head.

Meditation Daily Practice

Half Lotus Pose

Since I've started working again, I've been trying to stay grounded and present in the now. I want to keep my responses level and moderate in response to the emotional stress of starting work at a new place. This is why I have been meditating for at least 10 minutes every day. Hopefully, in this daily practice, I will be able to temper my responses and keep centered. This blog entry is tracking my progress in meditation.

I have been trying different meditation poses. I have found that the half lotus pose (see above) with arms stretched out straight, thumb and index finger together, is particularly effective. This pose helps to keep me awake and allows me to sit with my back straight. Also, I would like to experiment more with meditating in "hero's pose" with a blanket or pillow underneath my buttocks (see below).

This is what happens when I attempt to meditate. For the first half of my meditation, I think a lot, and I mean a lot. Instead of punishing myself for thinking, however, I take note of the thought or emotion that is taking place, as I was taught at the Esalen retreat, and gently correct myself. I also try to investigate the physical feeling that comes with the thought or emotion. Am I breathing faster? Is my breathing sharp and smooth? Is my face tense? (The keeping track of physical symptoms helps dispelling the emotion at hand.)

After a while, my eyes start to roll back into my head as though I were falling asleep, except that I am still wide awake. Sometimes, I feel as though I am falling inside myself or imploding. Sometimes I feel floaty, or that I am leaning to one side. I was told by the meditation instructor, that I could either be experiencing low blood pressure, or that my mind could be playing tricks on me. He told me that people sometimes feel as though they are imploding or exploding or even twisting in circles in space. Or, perhaps, I am simply falling asleep.

Even if I never achieve this state of other-consciousness described above, I do feel that the meditation session is worthwhile. I still am more in touch with my center. Also, I was told that the more one meditates, the more one will be able to identify a certain peacefulness, and the stronger that feeling of peacefulness will become. Right now, I am just getting an inkling of what that centeredness feels like.

Right now, I am learning to enjoy the meditation, and don't get too bored. In fact, meditation is a luxurious indulgence for me, much like a long soak in the bath.