Year 2007 in Summary, Part 1

I've been thinking a little about why I blog and what I'm trying to get out of it. I think that by blogging, I'm trying to prove that my life existed in the world, no matter how insignificant or small my life is. Also, it has been a fun and creative outlet. Now that it is a new year, I want to lay down my thoughts about 2007. This past year has certainly gone by like a flash, and I wanted to memorialize how I've grown and the events that have taken place.

First of all, this year was set apart by the ABSENCE of bad things. I didn't crash any cars, or have any mid-life crises. Nor did I hate my job, or hate my boss, or hate my fiance etc. We didn't move, nor did we change jobs. All in all, life was very stable.

My friends, however, were a whole different story. I felt like I was the eye of a hurricane, the calm amidst a storm. Without naming names, my friends experienced major break-ups as well as marriages. There were multiple pregnancies and births. There was even marital intervention that took place at the San Francisco Zoo (the giraffe exhibit, to be precise).

If there was an absence of spectacularly bad things, that is not say that there wasn't grinding disappointment either, especially in my career. If you had talked to a younger Mina, she would have thought that I had truly succeeded. I have released not just medical devices, but these past couple of years, I have released, not one, but two high-volume, popular, mass-produced products. Seeing my accomplishments in this light, I can genuinely say I'm proud. So, where does the disappointment come from?

I am very disappointed at where I am in my career. I did not get promoted after the products I helped design and launch, but instead saw people all around me get promoted for accomplishing less. I felt crushed, and thought the world was out to get me. I got so angry thinking that people were out to crush my spirit. Why was I always the person who got the brunt of all of the punishment when everyone else got rewarded? What's worse, I had withheld several materialistic rewards for myself for when I did get promoted. For instance, I really wanted a drysuit for several years, but wouldn't get one until after the promotion. Also, I promised I'd celebrate the impending promotion with a dinner reservation at Chez Panisse. Finally, I had set up a deadline for myself. If no promotion occurred, I would definitely ship out and move out.

So what happened, and how did I justify it all to myself? First of all, after many evenings crying to myself, I began to see it from the point of view of my bosses. There WERE things that I could improve in myself. There were certain lapses in skills that I needed to fill. My struggle this year, is to work on those lapses in skills before I get so bitter and disenchanted with life that I don't snap peoples' heads off. More on this later, perhaps in a New Year's Resolutions blog.

Blog to be continued...