Meditation Daily Practice

Half Lotus Pose

Since I've started working again, I've been trying to stay grounded and present in the now. I want to keep my responses level and moderate in response to the emotional stress of starting work at a new place. This is why I have been meditating for at least 10 minutes every day. Hopefully, in this daily practice, I will be able to temper my responses and keep centered. This blog entry is tracking my progress in meditation.

I have been trying different meditation poses. I have found that the half lotus pose (see above) with arms stretched out straight, thumb and index finger together, is particularly effective. This pose helps to keep me awake and allows me to sit with my back straight. Also, I would like to experiment more with meditating in "hero's pose" with a blanket or pillow underneath my buttocks (see below).

This is what happens when I attempt to meditate. For the first half of my meditation, I think a lot, and I mean a lot. Instead of punishing myself for thinking, however, I take note of the thought or emotion that is taking place, as I was taught at the Esalen retreat, and gently correct myself. I also try to investigate the physical feeling that comes with the thought or emotion. Am I breathing faster? Is my breathing sharp and smooth? Is my face tense? (The keeping track of physical symptoms helps dispelling the emotion at hand.)

After a while, my eyes start to roll back into my head as though I were falling asleep, except that I am still wide awake. Sometimes, I feel as though I am falling inside myself or imploding. Sometimes I feel floaty, or that I am leaning to one side. I was told by the meditation instructor, that I could either be experiencing low blood pressure, or that my mind could be playing tricks on me. He told me that people sometimes feel as though they are imploding or exploding or even twisting in circles in space. Or, perhaps, I am simply falling asleep.

Even if I never achieve this state of other-consciousness described above, I do feel that the meditation session is worthwhile. I still am more in touch with my center. Also, I was told that the more one meditates, the more one will be able to identify a certain peacefulness, and the stronger that feeling of peacefulness will become. Right now, I am just getting an inkling of what that centeredness feels like.

Right now, I am learning to enjoy the meditation, and don't get too bored. In fact, meditation is a luxurious indulgence for me, much like a long soak in the bath.