Once again, deadlines loom on the home front, and at work. Once again, I have a million and one things to blog about rather than tackling these more important tasks: One of the things on my mind these days are things that make me happy. There
things that give me lasting happiness, and there are things that are like a quick shot in the arm.
Here are some of the things that are like a quick shot in the arm:
(1) A fresh coat of lipstick. This is spoken from someone, who until very recently, hadn't worn a smidgen of makeup in her life. But in my 30s I have discovered the joy of smearing on a coat of lipstick or lip gloss or two.
(2) Appreciate a friend out loud when you genuinely mean it. There is nothing that makes me more happy than paying a compliment or showing genuine thanks. But be aware: paying a cheap compliment that you don't mean can have the opposite effect.
(3) Being out in the sun, on a really nice day. Like today, at this very moment, writing this blog in the dappled shade of an outdoor cafe.
(4) Wear a cute outfit and rock it all day.
(5) Laughing really loudly. It's so euphoric.
(6) Do not underestimate the power of skin moisturizer to keep you feeling soft and pampered all day. This is from someone who has alligator skin, and for whom putting on moisturizer is like an epiphany.
(7) Relaxed and pleasant conversation over a meal. I hardly ever turn down an opportunity to go out for lunch to have a nice discussion, even with stressful work looming.
(8) Eating food when hungry. Not to be underestimated.
(9) Drinking coffee. Caffeine makes me feel smarter, and more engaged in life.
And here are some deeper ways to be happier for longer periods of time:
(1) Bearing yourself gracefully and taking the high road in difficult situations.
(2) In the same sense as the previous, forgiving a friend with whom you've had a tiff. Often times, when you can't stand someone, you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and there is something that bothers you about yourself. If you can recognize that, and forgive yourself and the other person, it's like a huge load has lifted off my shoulders. This has happened to me several times. Life is too short to bear a grudge or to hate people for a long period of time. Turn it around as quickly as possible, and you will be incredibly proud of yourself.
(3) Loving people deeply. You don't need to be family. You don't even need to know the people very well, or have had them in your lives for a long time. But recognize that you can instantly love people and care for them.
(4) Take a class on happiness. Sometimes it's not enough to bumble around on one's own, figuring out what works and what doesn't work in this game of life. Sometimes, it is necessary to take a class. For example I'm still reaping the benefits of what I learned in my Mindfulness Meditation retreat that I took at the Esalen institute a few years ago. I'm still grokking how it feels to practice equanimity, and what it means to cultivate "loving-kindness" (metta bhavana). You can read more about my mindfulness retreat here.
(5) Risk and constantly face your fears. One of the main things I learned with my life coach was the concept of "being comfortable with being uncomfortable". The key is to to risk feeling uncomfortable many days of the week, and to risk so much, that you feel like you could die, once a week. I am following this, and this has been extremely rewarding to my life. I never thought I was a coward, but it is good to be reminded of when one is in a rut.
things that give me lasting happiness, and there are things that are like a quick shot in the arm.
Here are some of the things that are like a quick shot in the arm:
(1) A fresh coat of lipstick. This is spoken from someone, who until very recently, hadn't worn a smidgen of makeup in her life. But in my 30s I have discovered the joy of smearing on a coat of lipstick or lip gloss or two.
(2) Appreciate a friend out loud when you genuinely mean it. There is nothing that makes me more happy than paying a compliment or showing genuine thanks. But be aware: paying a cheap compliment that you don't mean can have the opposite effect.
(3) Being out in the sun, on a really nice day. Like today, at this very moment, writing this blog in the dappled shade of an outdoor cafe.
(4) Wear a cute outfit and rock it all day.
(5) Laughing really loudly. It's so euphoric.
(6) Do not underestimate the power of skin moisturizer to keep you feeling soft and pampered all day. This is from someone who has alligator skin, and for whom putting on moisturizer is like an epiphany.
(7) Relaxed and pleasant conversation over a meal. I hardly ever turn down an opportunity to go out for lunch to have a nice discussion, even with stressful work looming.
(8) Eating food when hungry. Not to be underestimated.
(9) Drinking coffee. Caffeine makes me feel smarter, and more engaged in life.
And here are some deeper ways to be happier for longer periods of time:
(1) Bearing yourself gracefully and taking the high road in difficult situations.
(2) In the same sense as the previous, forgiving a friend with whom you've had a tiff. Often times, when you can't stand someone, you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and there is something that bothers you about yourself. If you can recognize that, and forgive yourself and the other person, it's like a huge load has lifted off my shoulders. This has happened to me several times. Life is too short to bear a grudge or to hate people for a long period of time. Turn it around as quickly as possible, and you will be incredibly proud of yourself.
(3) Loving people deeply. You don't need to be family. You don't even need to know the people very well, or have had them in your lives for a long time. But recognize that you can instantly love people and care for them.
(4) Take a class on happiness. Sometimes it's not enough to bumble around on one's own, figuring out what works and what doesn't work in this game of life. Sometimes, it is necessary to take a class. For example I'm still reaping the benefits of what I learned in my Mindfulness Meditation retreat that I took at the Esalen institute a few years ago. I'm still grokking how it feels to practice equanimity, and what it means to cultivate "loving-kindness" (metta bhavana). You can read more about my mindfulness retreat here.
(5) Risk and constantly face your fears. One of the main things I learned with my life coach was the concept of "being comfortable with being uncomfortable". The key is to to risk feeling uncomfortable many days of the week, and to risk so much, that you feel like you could die, once a week. I am following this, and this has been extremely rewarding to my life. I never thought I was a coward, but it is good to be reminded of when one is in a rut.
