Happiness is Miserable

"Happiness is Miserable" claims Jennifer Aaker, professor of Marketing at Stanford's Graduate School of Business. Professor Aaker (http://faculty-gsb.stanford.edu/aaker/) spoke at yesterday's lecture sponsored by the Stanford Professional Women. And she had some data, hilarious videos and charts to back up her statement that "Happiness is Miserable".

It has been a long time since I stepped on the Stanford Campus. It was fun to visit after so long a time away. The Alumni Center, where the event was held, is absolutely gorgeous. There was smoked salmon, cheesecake and good coffee to stuff my face with. And everyone was dressed to the hilt in their most fashionable attire.

I had trouble initiating conversation with
my fellow attendees at first. I need to brush up on that skill apparently. But another woman who was attending the lecture on her own struck up a conversation with me from her chair near by. Approximately the same age as myself, she had two small kids already, looked older than myself, and was extremely well spoken, which is more than what I could say for myself. Maybe networking at these events more would give me some of that polish.

The lecture itself was hilarious. Aaker presented some photos from her family trip to Disneyworld, where everyone was clearly miserable. However, looking back, only happy pictures with disingenuine smiles remain. The point was: Americans (more so than in other cultures) have a hard time resolving experiences that are both happy and sad, and will usually remember one over the other. This demonstrates that we have an unrealistic vision of how happy we are supposed to be?

Another key to her lecture was that there is more than one type of happiness, and that our definition of happiness morphs with age. For example, happiness is associated by most people by the following words:

Can't stop smiling
Pleasure
Feels good

But there is also a deeper, more sustainable meaning of the word happiness:

Contentment
Feels right
Authentic

Aaker argues that if we can be more in touch with this latter meaning of happiness, we will become happier.

One final point she made was that giving to others usually makes us happier than anything else we can do.

Some other short term fixes to feeling happier:

-Smile more
-Breath more slowly and deeply
-Have a small sandwich (eat a snack)
-Slog through a tough 3 hour task
-Avoid the negative-the negative has more lasting power over the positive
-Anticipate happiness in the future
-Remember happiness in the past
-Control the ripple effect your happiness -has on others (we are happier when our friends' friends are happy)
-Find a project that is meaningful both at work and at home



-- Post From My iPhone